Wrestling Against Myself by Katie Leone Read Free Book Online

ask her about it, it was probably something simple.
     
    He didn't have time to dwell on the problem long. He made his way to room D-22 and Pastor Bob was waiting outside the door.
     
    Pastor Bob was six inches shorter than Tony and going bald on top of his head even though he grew the back out longer. He had a bit of a paunch on him, but no one made reference to it and he wore a simple pair of jeans and a T-shirt that read “fisher of men” over two crossed fishing poles.
     
    “There's Tiny,” he said.
     
    “Sorry I'm late,” Tony said as he gave the man a hug.
     
    Bob looked at his watch. “Actually you're two minutes early.”
     
    Tony sighed. “Go figure.”
     
    “So, you're the new leader of the morning prayer team,” Bob said tongue in cheek, it was a given that Tony would get the post during his senior year.
     
    “Looks that way.”
     
    Bob opened up his day planner. “Since this is student run, you have a lot of leeway, but there are a few rules.”

“I've read them,” Tony said, trying not to come off as smug.
     
    “I know, but they bear repeating, especially considering your influence on the student body.”
     
    Tony nodded. He supposed that since he put himself in the position of influence, he had to deal with the ramifications.
     
    “One,” Bob read off the list. “You cannot deny anyone access to the prayer meeting on grounds of religious affiliation, that means other denominations of Christians, Muslims, Jews, Hindus or anything else.”
     
    “Got that, we will respect everyone's religious freedom no matter which God they pray to.”
     
    “At least you've read the rules, now you have to practice them. You can't witness to everyone who comes into prayer group; even though I know you want to.”
     
    Antonio listened as the rest of the rules were explained to him again. It was the putting into practice line that stuck with him. Yes, reading was easy. Telling people things you read was easy. Saying the right thing was easy. It was doing the right thing for the right motivation that was hard.
     
    Pastor Bob finished reading the last of the rules. “Any questions?”
 
    “Not about what I need to do,” Tony said cryptically.
     
    Pastor Bob looked at his watch. “We still have ten minutes before anyone shows up.”
     
    Tony thought about how he wanted to phrase the question. “How do you know you are doing the right thing because it is the right thing to do or that you do the right because you want people to think that you're a good guy?”
     
    Pastor Bob let out a heavy sigh. “Sometimes it's like walking a tightrope, Tiny. In the end, you have to be true to yourself. God already knows your motivations, you'll never fool him. I know you worry about your own drive. But, it's good to keep asking yourself. It's when you don't ask when you get into trouble.”
     
    “Do you struggle with this too,” Tony asked.
     
    “Tiny, a lot of people do in various degrees.” Bob put his hand on Tony's shoulder. “I know your heart; we've had lots of discussions. It's good you question your motivation, but don't hold yourself up to a higher moral code than you expect from others. Always strive to do good and to keep God centered here.” Bob poked the teen on his chest over his heart. “And you'll do fine, despite what other people say or think.”
     
    “Thanks Pastor Bob,” Tony said as he tried to let the words settle in.
     
    Bob looked at his watch. “Time for me to get going before we have a controversy on our hand.”
     
    Tony watched as the shorter man walked down the hall and through the exit. He turned and posted a note on the door that a prayer meeting was being held and that all were invited to join but to not disturb if they had other business in the classroom. He opened the classroom door all the way opened and put down the kickstand style doorstop.
     
    Dave and Ted were the first two to arrive. Since they rode to school together, it was no surprise. They were