You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!: The Classic Self-Help Book for Adults With Attention Deficit Disorder by Kate Kelly, Peggy Ramundo Read Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Kate Kelly, Peggy Ramundo
be inappropriate, counterproductive or downright dangerous in certain situations. Remember the tornado siren—locking in to the computer instead of racing for the basementcould have disastrous consequences!
The “I Hate Details” Dynamic
Many of us have an aversion to details. An inability to scan and switch channels plays into this aversion. To scan for details, we have to attend to numerous pieces of data. We find that our brains are uncooperative when we try to absorb many details simultaneously. We may forget much of what we see or hear. When we try to remembersequential details, we can lose the first step before we can assimilate the second. Our preference for the gestalt (the big picture) over miscellaneous details may in part result from this difficulty with data processing.
The “Don’t Do Today What You Can
Put Off Till Tomorrow” Dynamic
Many people live by this creed. Requesting several extensions on a federal income tax filing can put off thisonerous task as long as possible. But we’re not talking about a conscious decision to procrastinate. We’re talking about the frustration many of us feel every time we try to get started on anything.
What appears to be stalling or an apparent unwillingness to do something is often a sign of the superhuman effort required to begin concentrating on a new task. Refocusing is painful. It takes a lotof blood, sweat and tears. Although an ADDer may do well after he gets going, he has to work hard to shut out the rest of the world and turn off the other channels. It’s possible to become more efficient at self-starting but it takes time and self-discipline to learn this skill.
A Defective Filter
Another brain function that goes awry in ADD is the filtering mechanism. A brain that is workingat peak efficiency can select what it needs to concentrate on and filter out extraneous distractions. It works much like the oil filter in a car. It filters out the dirty, useless particles so the engine can operate efficiently with clean oil. Coffee filters perform a similar function, preventing the bitter grounds from getting mixed in with the liquid.
A defective filter permits the “groundsto get mixed up with the coffee.” An ADDer experiences the world as a barrage to his senses—noises, sights and smells rush in without barriers or protection. Normal noise levels can interfere with his ability to hear conversations or maintain a train of thought.
Even in a relatively quiet restaurant, background noises compete for attention and interfere with the ability to listen to the server.During a telephone call, the ADDer may snap at a spouse who makes the slightest noise in the room. Unfiltered visual distractions can make shopping a nightmare. The process of scanning the contents of a large department store can be agonizing. The quantity of choices is overwhelming and often creates feelings of intense anxiety and irritation.
Touchy Touchability
An ADDer can be very touchyabout being touched! His sense of touch is as vulnerable to overstimulation as the rest of his sensory channels. An intolerance of touch or close physicalproximity is a fairly common difference noted by ADD adults. The term “tactile defensiveness,” found in occupational therapy literature, captures the essence of this difference. Similar to most ADD symptoms, it waxes and wanes. At times theneed for physical space is acute, and an ADDer simply can’t tolerate being around other people.
It’s ironic that with his poor sense of physical boundaries, he may bump into someone else’s physical space while he fiercely protects his own. One ADDer ruefully observed: “People like me—other ADDers—can drive me crazy. I hate to be touched, and they keep bumping into me.” Others say they don’t likeliving with animals because pets don’t have respect for physical boundaries!
Roller-Coaster Emotions
ADDers Live on Emotional Roller Coasters
We’re not exactly sure what causes the problems with mood and
The “I Hate Details” Dynamic
Many of us have an aversion to details. An inability to scan and switch channels plays into this aversion. To scan for details, we have to attend to numerous pieces of data. We find that our brains are uncooperative when we try to absorb many details simultaneously. We may forget much of what we see or hear. When we try to remembersequential details, we can lose the first step before we can assimilate the second. Our preference for the gestalt (the big picture) over miscellaneous details may in part result from this difficulty with data processing.
The “Don’t Do Today What You Can
Put Off Till Tomorrow” Dynamic
Many people live by this creed. Requesting several extensions on a federal income tax filing can put off thisonerous task as long as possible. But we’re not talking about a conscious decision to procrastinate. We’re talking about the frustration many of us feel every time we try to get started on anything.
What appears to be stalling or an apparent unwillingness to do something is often a sign of the superhuman effort required to begin concentrating on a new task. Refocusing is painful. It takes a lotof blood, sweat and tears. Although an ADDer may do well after he gets going, he has to work hard to shut out the rest of the world and turn off the other channels. It’s possible to become more efficient at self-starting but it takes time and self-discipline to learn this skill.
A Defective Filter
Another brain function that goes awry in ADD is the filtering mechanism. A brain that is workingat peak efficiency can select what it needs to concentrate on and filter out extraneous distractions. It works much like the oil filter in a car. It filters out the dirty, useless particles so the engine can operate efficiently with clean oil. Coffee filters perform a similar function, preventing the bitter grounds from getting mixed in with the liquid.
A defective filter permits the “groundsto get mixed up with the coffee.” An ADDer experiences the world as a barrage to his senses—noises, sights and smells rush in without barriers or protection. Normal noise levels can interfere with his ability to hear conversations or maintain a train of thought.
Even in a relatively quiet restaurant, background noises compete for attention and interfere with the ability to listen to the server.During a telephone call, the ADDer may snap at a spouse who makes the slightest noise in the room. Unfiltered visual distractions can make shopping a nightmare. The process of scanning the contents of a large department store can be agonizing. The quantity of choices is overwhelming and often creates feelings of intense anxiety and irritation.
Touchy Touchability
An ADDer can be very touchyabout being touched! His sense of touch is as vulnerable to overstimulation as the rest of his sensory channels. An intolerance of touch or close physicalproximity is a fairly common difference noted by ADD adults. The term “tactile defensiveness,” found in occupational therapy literature, captures the essence of this difference. Similar to most ADD symptoms, it waxes and wanes. At times theneed for physical space is acute, and an ADDer simply can’t tolerate being around other people.
It’s ironic that with his poor sense of physical boundaries, he may bump into someone else’s physical space while he fiercely protects his own. One ADDer ruefully observed: “People like me—other ADDers—can drive me crazy. I hate to be touched, and they keep bumping into me.” Others say they don’t likeliving with animals because pets don’t have respect for physical boundaries!
Roller-Coaster Emotions
ADDers Live on Emotional Roller Coasters
We’re not exactly sure what causes the problems with mood and
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