You're the One I Want by Shane Allison Read Free Book Online Page A

about?”
    â€œTell him, Ma,” Deanthony said. “No time like the present.”
    â€œI said hush.”
    â€œMama, what is he talking about?” I asked. She looked at me with a kind of puppy-dog sympathy. “Ma, tell me. What’s going on?”
    â€œIt’s true. Edrick wasn’t your real daddy.”
    â€œWhat? Ma, what is he…” I looked at Deanthony and lunged across the table at him, tackling him to the ground. “Fuck you, you’re lying.” Deanthony blocked my first punch, throwing me off of him.
    â€œStop it!” Ma yelled. “Y’all are brothers!” Ma ran off toward the house, sobbing.
    I felt Uncle Ray-Ray tug me by my collar off of Deanthony like I was a sack of potatoes. “You two, break this shit up. What the hell is wrong with you, boy? He’s your brother and it’s your birthday.”
    â€œNo, he started it,” Deanthony said. “I’m gonna finish this shit.” Deanthony attempted to lunge at me, only to be yanked back by Uncle Ray-Ray.
    â€œGo and see how your mama is doing, D!” Uncle Ray-Ray shouted.
    Deanthony walked off. “Fuck with the bull, boy, you get the horns,” Deanthony warned.
    â€œI said git.”
    â€œTell me he’s lying, Uncle. Tell me he’s full of shit.”
    â€œSit down, ’Shawn.”
    â€œNo, fuck that. I want to know what he meant by that.”
    â€œIt’s true. Edrick wasn’t y’all’s daddy. He adopted y’all when your real daddy made it clear he didn’t want to be a father to you boys, so my brother adopted you when you were just babies.”
    Uncle Ray-Ray’s conformation was like a punch in the stomach. I paced the backyard, reeling from the news I had been given. I looked at Deanthony consoling our mother.
    â€œSo who the hell is my real father?”
    â€œDoesn’t matter. He didn’t want to be a father to you boys.”
    Anger had a firm hold on me and worthlessness was seeping in like a poison. “My whole life is a damn lie.”
    â€œYour mama loves and cares for you and Deanthony, and, as far as I’m concerned, you’re my family, blood or not.”
    I picked up one of the patio chairs and flung it into the pool. I kicked the grill over, sending hot ashes and charcoal into the water.
    â€œKashawn, calm your behind down,” Uncle Ray-Ray said.
    Ma stood on the porch, sobbing as Deanthony watched in silence.
    â€œWhy, Ma? Why did I have to wait all of thirty fucking years to hear that I was the son of a man who didn’t want me?” I shouted. I took my anger out on an oak tree that grew in the corner of the backyard. I punched it until my knuckles bled. Ma held onto Deanthony like he was her protector from the bastard child of the family. “I gotta get out of here. I can’t be here right now.”
    â€œKashawn, you’ve been drinking. Let’s sit and talk about this.”
    â€œNo, fuck this. I’m done.”
    â€œPlease, baby, don’t leave,” Ma said.
    â€œI can’t even look at you right now, Ma. You carried on a lie for this long. What else are you lying about?”
    I left her standing in the middle of the backyard, crying, but no one was more hurt than me. That house of lies was the last damn place I wanted to be.

7
DEANTHONY
    M a placed the platter of half-eaten birthday cake on the kitchen counter, while Uncle Ray-Ray started washing aluminum pans and silverware. Neither one of them uttered a word.
    â€œI’m sorry, Ma.”
    She looked at me with contempt in her blood-shot, teary eyes, as if she wanted to rip my tongue out of my head. “Is that why you came back here, to stir up trouble?”
    â€œMe? What about Kashawn? I came here to see my family. He’s the one who started in with me. I’m sorry I told him. It’s just that he’s always comin’ off like he’s holier than thou.”
    â€œHow