Yowler Foul-Up by David Lee Stone Read Free Book Online

here?”
    “Hang about; so this bird looks at me as if it knows what I done. Then off I go, outta the forest, and I stops the night at this village inn ’bout three miles south o’ the forest, an’ there it is, perched on the windowsill! The bird! And in the next village too! And now I’m back in Dullitch, and the bloody thing’s still out there! Hunting me down!”
    “Is that it? A bird?” Jimmy asked, dumbfounded. “Just ignore it.”
    “I can’t! What if it’s waitin’ to see where I’m takin’ the sack? It might be a spy, workin’ for the viscount or even the Yowler leaders!”
    Jimmy shook his head. “I don’t think Viscount Curfew has many spies in the Grinswood.”
    “Well, that’s as may be, but I don’t want anything to go wrong with this job. If I make a mistake, lead an enemy to the door, so to speak, then bang goes my three ’undred crowns. Now, if you was to—”
    “Stop right there,” Jimmy interrupted. “I think I can see where this is going, and there’s no way—”
    “If we was to change clothes—”
    “Not a chance.”
    “And I unscrewed my mechanical arm—”
    “No, I said. No.”
    “Then you could put your ’ead down and run for it. By the time the bird saw that you weren’t me, I’d have delivered my sack an’ I’d be two ’undred and twenty-five crowns richer.”
    Jimmy waited a moment while he worked this out. “Let me get this straight: you’re prepared to give me seventy-five crowns for impersonating you for an hour?”
    “Yeah.”
    “To get away from a bird.”
    “’Sright.”
    “You’re insane. I’ll do it.” He finished his ale and watched as Grab unscrewed his false limb. “Where is this bird, anyway?”
    “Up the street.” Grab pointed toward the Ferret’s staircase. “It’s perched on the sign over the Burrow Street Bakery, waitin’ for me to come out. I’m convinced of it.”
    “Yeah, yeah. We’ll see. Can we at least find a quiet spot to change clothes? I don’t fancy exhibiting my valuables in front of this crowd.”

FOURTEEN
    J IMMY QUICKSTINT WAS HAVING a really bad night. Apart from avoiding the barrowbird, his luck was such that he’d nearly walked straight into it. The situation called for all of his speed and cunning, so it was rather unfortunate that he didn’t possess a great deal of either.
    Then, to make matters worse, he’d dropped Grab’s mechanical arm in Winding Way, and he had to stoop to pick it up, all the while trying to keep his face down and maintain his friend’s insane half limp. It wasn’t easy.
    Finally, when he was at least six streets away from the Ferret and the crowds had begun to thicken, Jimmy spotted a convenient alleyway. Taking a deep breath and steeling all the muscles in his legs, he darted left, right, left, backward, forward, did a somersault, and then nose-dived behind a pile of rubbish sacks just beyond the mouth of the alley. There, squatting in the shadows, he waited for the bird to fly past.
    It didn’t.
    Time passed, and there was still no sign of the creature.
    The Diamond Clock on Crest Hill struck eleven and, motionless, Jimmy waited.
    Eventually tiring of his awkward crouch, the gravedigger struggled to his feet and peered out into the street.
    “Who’re we lookin’ for?” said a voice.
    Jimmy turned and stared into the scruffy beak of the barrowbird. It had perched on a low wall opposite Jimmy’s hiding place, and he was sure it was looking at him with malice.
    “Game’s up, genius,” it squawked. “Worked like a treat; well done. Now stop soddin’ about and tell me where your friend’s gone.”
    “Wh-what? What friend? I don’t have any friends.”
    “Don’t mess with me, boy. You’ve no idea what you’re getting involved in. I’m a magical bird, I am.”
    “Oh.” Jimmy nodded. “Then I expect you can find him yourself.”
    There was an uncomfortable pause.
    “I’ll ask you once more, then I’ll have your eyes out.”
    Jimmy looked nervously about,