changed. I have changed. I’m nineteen years old in a zombie-infested world. Every day I wake has the potential of being the last day of my life. I accept that in my head, but have trouble putting it into words. Stated simply, to survive the change in life, I have to change or get left behind. I am doing my best to make that change, it is difficult.
“What?”
“Zee. I know there is something or there was something between the two of you. I think you should recognize it. It will help you to get past it and get stronger.”
“I’m strong enough.”
“Zee!”
“What do you want from me, Brittany?”
“Talk to me, Zee. Just talk to me. Tell me how you feel about the man.”
I took a deep breath and slowly let it out. Closing my eyes always helped me focus. This time it let me down. “Thompson was a jerk, end of discussion.”
“Zee!”
“Stop!” I know I let her down and I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t talk about it, not even to her, my blood brother. She could never understand my feelings for Thompson and I couldn’t explain them in a way to make her understand. It wasn’t love, I doubt that seriously. It was a connection that we made. Someway, somehow, he got to me, pass my defenses to my inner core. He was in before I could shut the gate and keep him out. I can’t describe how it happened. It would make absolutely no sense unless it happened to her, too.
Brittany looked at me with sad puppy dog eyes. I so desperately wanted to let her in and tell her, I just couldn’t. I bowed my head and racked my brain for something to cheer her up and bring peace between us. Fortunately, the boys returned.
“We did it,” said Jones. “We hoisted him up like a flag and tied him to the chimney. He’ll be there until he rots and falls to pieces.”
“Yeah,” said Charley. “Can you picture a zombie standing on the sidewalk and suddenly manna falls from heaven? Outrageous!”
“I can picture that,” said Brittany. “They will probably think it’s a big gumball machine in the sky.”
They chuckled. I pleasantly smiled.
“Can you guys take the table and everything upstairs?” asked Brittany. “I’ll lock up and meet you in our room.”
“Fine by me,” replied Charley. He got on one end of the table and strained to lift it. “Whoa! I guess I’m gonna need a hand with this load.”
Jones came to his rescue. “Back up ladies and watch a man work. One, two, three, up!”
The boys made groaning noises as they carried the card table out of the room and up to ours. I helped Brittany gather our bags. Every time I looked at her, her head was down, avoiding me. I had hurt her feelings by not talking about mine. I’m a girl, isn’t talking about our feelings part of the job description? Maybe they forgot to give me the “share-your-feelings” manual in the nursery.
My mother always claimed I was left on her doorstep by aliens. I’m the kind of person whose sense of humor changes with the wind. Usually when she said those words to me, I cringed and took them the wrong way, though she smiled the whole time. Maybe I needed to discover myself. I was definitely something.
Brittany and I made two trips up the stairs: the first was to carry our bags. The second was to lock up. I trusted her to do it, I wanted to stay with her and if I couldn’t express my feelings, maybe by being with her she would get the message. Yes, guilt reared its ugly head.
Back in our room, setting up was a snap. It consisted of throwing a cover over the table and placing napkin plates in each position. When done, I went to the window to check on our zombie friends, leaving the rest to Chef Brittany.
Zombies wandered below us aimlessly. They were gathering in numbers like before. Thompson was right about their low intelligence. If it were me, I would be going house to house searching for food. Not these zombies, they wandered aimlessly, stopping and howling at one another and possibly the air itself. Until we stepped out of our sanctuary, we were invisible. I stopped to think of all the souls around the world in similar hiding places. How long would they wait? We had plenty of food and water and could remain here until they disbursed, possibly weeks if necessary. Were others as fortunate?
My thoughts wondered back to my brother and the people at the camp. I wondered if they were waiting on us or if they had given up ever seeing us alive again. We were only a few short miles away. Why would these last few miles be so difficult? Roadblock after roadblock after roadblock, it wasn’t fair. Comforting myself with the knowledge that I was alive and safe wasn’t enough. I left the window to see if Brittany needed any help.
“Have a seat guys, dinner is served.”
Brittany was all smiles. Tonight would be a treat from the boys’ packs. First, she forced a prayer out of Charley and glowered at me until I took his hand in our little circle. I guess she was getting back at me for not sharing. After the prayer, we sat. Brittany presented the meal and dared any of us to alter it. She had her mojo back.
Jones and Charley shared a can of peaches. Brittany and I chose pineapples, the juice would be heavenly. Jones set up his butane torch to fire up two cans of Armour Treets. Before he got started, Brittany carved ours in the shape of a turkey and theirs in the shape of a duck. The carved away pieces became their nests. Brittany screamed as if her bird was on fire every time Jones brought the torch near it. She yelled, “run for your life little birdie,” and made her bird gallop across the table like he was in fact running for his life. She was so funny, so animated; I loosened a bit and laughed sparingly with the others. I know she did it all for my benefit, I just couldn’t get as deeply into it as they could. They sat around the table laughing and joking while Jones roasted our birds.
When finished, Brittany returned to her chef duties and carved the birds. We toasted bottles of water and feasted.
I looked at them and their laughter was infectious, but not on me, only with one another. The burning flesh brought up memories of the flaming zombies Jones torched earlier. They were once people. I also thought of Thompson being pulled apart and feasted on, Brittany’s carving turned my stomach.
To keep from embarrassing myself and throwing water on their party, I got up and went to the window to check on the zombies. They were doing nothing new. I went to the door, opened it, and looked downstairs, it was quiet and the alarms were in place.
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