22 Tricky Twenty-Two by Janet Evanovich Read Free Book Online

good.”
    •••
    It was almost five o’clock when I opened my door to Lula. She was minus the pink angora sweater, her poison green tank top was smudged, and her hair was less than perfect.
    “You’re not gonna believe my day,” Lula said. “Where’s my egg salad?”
    “Vinnie ate it.”
    “Say what?”
    “I was worried about you when you disappeared. Why didn’t you call?”
    “I got kidnapped and one of the idiots took my cellphone. What do you mean Vinnie ate my egg salad?”
    “I brought the stuff from the deli back to the office and Vinnie ate it.”
    “He got some nerve. I was looking forward to that egg salad.”
    “We can get more tomorrow.”
    Lula’s attention moved to the box on the counter. “Is that donuts I see?”
    “Help yourself.”
    Lula took a jelly donut. “I’m about starved. First off I got kidnapped and they wanted to go to Camden.” She shook her head. “Camden. Like I haven’t anything better to do than to drive to Camden. And then when we got to Camden they said I should get out and walk home on account of they were taking my Firebird to a chop shop. Okay, I get that they need money to start up a business. Not that I’m saying it’s the right thing to do or anything. But you don’t take a acetylene torch to a red Firebird. It’s not done. And I just had it detailed.”
    “Morelli said you trashed them.”
    “I might have got carried away in the moment. It’s the protective nature in me needing to protect my Firebird.”
    Lula finished the jelly donut and took a chocolate covered.
    “And Billy Bacon got away?” I asked her.
    “Yup. He took advantage of the situation and ran like a rabbit, handcuffs and all. I drove around looking for him after the police got done talking to me, but I couldn’t find him. So what did you do with the rest of the day? Did you find Globovic?”
    “I talked to his girlfriend. I’m sure she knows where he is. I might go back with Ranger tonight and look around.”
    “Sounds like a plan to me. You mind if I take the rest of these donuts home?”
    “They’re yours.”

SIX
    FOR THE VIEWING I settled on skinny black slacks, a dressy white T-shirt with a scoop neck, and a fitted short red jacket. The outfit had the advantage of looking good with black ballet flats, which would be excellent for chasing down a killer if the occasion arose. I had my gun in my purse, but I hadn’t been able to find any bullets. With any luck, Ranger would never know about the bullets.
    I was downstairs waiting at seven o’clock when Ranger pulled up in a black Porsche Cayenne. It was his personal fleet car. Very luxe but equipped with ankle restraints bolted onto the backseat floor in case he had to transport a bad guy.
    “Babe,” Ranger said as I slid in next to him. “Didn’t want to risk the red dress?”
    “Mrs. Kranski and Mrs. Rundig will most likely be at this viewing. They would call my mother and tell her I was at the viewing wearing a tight red dress with cleavage, and then my mother would head straight for the Jim Beam bottle. Bad enough that I’m going to be there with you. That’s worth two Advil.”
    “I thought your mother liked me.”
    “My grandmother likes you. My mother worries that you might be related to Satan.”
    The funeral home is on the edge of the Burg, short for Chambersburg. Originally the Burg was a mob enclave, but most of the mob has now moved on to classier neighborhoods. The factory workers, bus drivers, plumbers, cops, and government worker bees remain. I grew up in the Burg, and my parents still live there. Houses are modest. Bars are plentiful. Crime is low. Gossip is rampant. The funeral home is the Burg equivalent to a country club. It’s free entertainment for everyone but the immediate family of the deceased.
    People in the Burg go to viewings for the cookies, not for the dead guy in Slumber Room No. 2. The building was originally a large Victorian-style home with a wraparound porch. Thirty years ago it