A Crowded Coffin by Nicola Slade Read Free Book Online

taken anything for it? Don’t worry about us, I’ll do the grandparents ’ breakfast and see to things here. Go!’ She shooed the hesitating Karen out of the kitchen and turned to see Rory filling the kettle.
    ‘I can cook,’ he said. ‘Heart attack on a plate do you?’
    She laughed and nodded and arranged a tray of toast and tea for her grandparents. When she came back Rory was flipping a slice of fried bread onto a plate. ‘I worked in a lorry drivers’ caféone summer,’ he told her. ‘It was a real greasy spoon. Here you are, tuck in.’
    As they ate in companionable silence Edith glanced across at Rory’s plate.
    ‘Have we run out of bacon?’ she asked. ‘Have some of mine.’
    ‘No.’ He sounded slightly annoyed as he waved her away. ‘I’ve temporarily gone off bacon, that’s all.’
    His tone was forbidding so she shrugged and subsided. While they ate they were watched by the assorted animals. The dog, Lulu, was cramped uncomfortably into a cat bed, fondly gazing at the fierce black kitten, Percy, who was lording it in the dog’s own bed. After eating, three other cats had disappeared, with an air of purposeful activity about them as they operated the cat flap, each tail an erect question mark as they embarked on a day’s hunting. The shy marmalade cat had plucked up the courage to sit under the table beside Rory’s feet and the old lady of the menagerie, Milly, was curled up on the sunny windowsill languidly washing her tail and pretending to be above such mundane matters as breakfast.
    ‘It’s a good thing you like cats,’ commented Edith as she watched Rory seduce the ginger cat with a morsel of fried bread while the kitten pranced over to see what was on offer. ‘You’ll fit right in. Percy seems an awful brat, but Lulu adores him; I’ve seen her washing him. Gran had only just acquired him when I was home for Christmas and Lulu spent the whole time running round after him, protecting him from the other cats.’
    ‘We always had cats at home,’ Rory said shortly, then looked away from her and changed the subject by holding out a hand to the kitten, who promptly bit his finger.
    ‘When I was home last,’ she said, looking curiously at his closed expression; so many subjects were clearly taboo, ‘Gran had a visitor, a Mrs Something, I forget what. I came down to make some tea and when I got back there was total chaos. MrsSomething was on her feet and dripping blood from her hand, with her chair knocked over behind her and Gran was standing by the table. She looked white with fury and she was clutching Percy tightly. It was funny afterwards but at the time Gran was in a state. She turned to me and said, “Edith, please take Mrs Whatsit to the bathroom. I don’t think she cares for cats and Percy certainly doesn’t seem to care for her.”
    ‘I got the poor woman out of the room and cleaned her up, but she was incoherent with rage. Apparently she hated cats but thought she ought to be polite as Gran seemed so keen, so she held out her hand to him. Of course, he’s half vampire and half piranha so he just gave her an evil grin and took a chunk out of her finger. She left, insisting she was going straight to the doctor’s to have a tetanus jab. Gran’s never forgiven her for that so she certainly won’t be at the party tonight.’
    ‘How formal is this thing tonight?’ Rory asked. ‘I don’t think anyone’s said. I mean, is it black tie or what? And shouldn’t there be another marquee for dancing or something? The Great Hall isn’t anywhere near big enough.’
    ‘Oops.’ She clapped a hand to her mouth. ‘Good job you asked. Yes, it’s a real posh-frock do, dinner jacket, the works. I’d better borrow something of Gran’s. She’s a hoarder and never gets rid of clothes, so there’s a big stash of vintage dresses dating back to the late forties. And no,’ she added, ‘it’s not a dance, just a dinner because the hall isn’t big enough to squeeze in a dance