A Dream to Call My Own by Tracie Peterson Read Free Book Online Page B

softly and danced nervously as Lacy attempted to secure the saddle. Her mind flooded with memories of another desperate horse ride.
    “You ride better than any of us,” seven-year-old Beth had told her. “You have to go find Pa.”
    Gwen had nodded solemnly. “We’ll care for Mother, but you must hurry. She’s bleeding.”
    A sob broke from Lacy’s throat. She leaned her face against the cold leather saddle.
    Mother had smiled weakly at her from the bed. “Don’t be afraid,” she had told her five-year-old daughter. “Everything will be just fine.”
    “But it wasn’t, Mama,” Lacy whispered. “And it’s not now, either.”
    Lacy couldn’t have stopped the tears that now flowed down her cheeks any more than she could have forced yesterday’s storm to abate. She clung to the saddle horn and cried.
    How can I marry you, Dave?
    She asked the question over and over in her mind. How can I marry him when I am such a wretched mess? He doesn’t know about me—about this. It’s not fair to burden him with my guilt and sorrow. I’ve failed so many people throughout my life. How can I pos sibly marry and risk failing him, as well?
    And it wasn’t just Dave. What if there were children? And why shouldn’t there be? What if she gave birth and raised sons and daughters, only to fail them? Lacy couldn’t even bear the thought.
    What can I do to make this right?
    She stiffened as someone embraced her from behind. Lacy had no doubt it was Dave. She fit too well in his arms. She turned and buried her face against his chest, feeling her felt hat fall by the wayside as she pressed against him. Her arms wrapped around his waist as best they could, and Lacy held fast.
    Dave hadn’t known what to expect when he found Lacy’s prints in the snow. He’d feared that perhaps she’d left in the night, but then he realized she had to still be there. There were no horse tracks coming from the barn. There wasn’t even another set of boot prints to reveal that Lacy had returned to the house.
    The soft glow of lantern light had easily guided him, but more so it was the sound of crying that drew Dave to the stall where Lacy stood against her mount. His heart nearly broke for the vulnerable young woman. She seemed years—even a decade—his junior as she cried.
    Taking hold of her had been the most natural thing in the world. Dave had worried she would fight him off, but instead, she had welcomed his touch. With her face buried tightly against his coat, she clung to him as if she were drowning and he were her only hope of rescue.
    Dave stroked Lacy’s hair and tried to think of something soothing to say. He didn’t know why she’d fallen apart like this. He suspected she was running away from him—from the feelings she had for him. Had those emotions caused her to break down?
    “It’s . . . it’s . . . not fair,” she murmured, her voice ragged.
    “What’s not fair?” Dave asked.
    “You. This.” She shook her head against him. “Not fair.”
    “I don’t understand, Lacy.” He loosened his hold and raised her face gently. “Look at me and tell me what this is all about.”
    She opened her reddened eyes. “I’m so confused. I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t want this.” She shook her head again. “No, I did, but . . . oh, I can’t explain it.”
    He stroked her cheek with his thumb. “What are you afraid of?”
    She laughed, but it was anything but an expression of glee. “You. Marriage. Failing yet another person.”
    Dave smiled. “Is that all?”
    Lacy pushed away from him. “Is that all?” She wiped her eyes on her coat sleeve. “Isn’t that enough?”
    “I don’t know.” He crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall. “Should it be?”
    “Oh, Dave, you have no idea of who I am.” She looked at the rafters. “I’m a mess. I’m more trouble than even you want to deal with.”
    “Let me be the judge of that.”
    When her eyes found his again, Dave wanted only to take her in his arms