Through the Fire by Donna Hill Read Free Book Online

part of himself that he’d lost. Somehow she was able to hold on to that part of herself where he could not. In his mind, the whole creative process was connected to his past, a past that he wanted to forget, but couldn’t. He didn’t know if he ever would.
    The session ended and the band started filing out of the soundproof booth. There seemed to be a glow, a radiance about Rae as she walked toward him. Oh, how well he remembered that feeling. The rush.
    “So what did you think?” she asked on a breath, dropping a headset around her neck.
    “Sounded great.”
    She tucked a lock behind his ear. “Really?”Her finger stroked his chin. She needed to hear his words of assurance to usher out her doubts.
    “Yeah, really.” He smiled, wanting to pull her close, but didn’t.
    The tightness in her chest slowly eased. “Well, that’s it for today. I’m beat. Let me just tie up a few things with the band and we can leave. Want to go over to the Blue Note? Everyone is going.”
    There was that everyone again. “Naw. I’m gonna cut out. You go ’head with your friends.” He brushed her forehead with his lips and turned and left.
    Rae watched him leave, and that same emptiness in her heart that she always felt when he moved away from her found its way back and settled. She was falling for him. Hard and fast. It was the only thing she was certain about anymore. Her thoughts were full of him, her actions planned around him. Her work once again had become a diversion, her friends a shield. But this time instead of it all protecting her from pain, it was keeping her from losing her heart. She couldn’t risk that again, especially with a man like Quinten Parker, whomshe knew so well, and not at all. He was full of light, dark shadows, and pieces that she could not put together. He wouldn’t let her. Then at times he was open, communicative, funny, romantic, and accessible. At others he was as remote as a distant continent.
    She sighed and turned away, knowing all her efforts to keep a seal on her emotions were futile. “Listen, I’ll see you all later,” she called out to the group. She snatched up her bag and dashed out, hoping to catch him before he pulled away.
    When she stepped outside she saw his Jeep and she felt that familiar breathlessness take over. Slowly she walked over to where he sat behind the wheel. “Can I get a lift?”
    Without responding, he opened the locks and she got in.
    They pulled up in front of her building, spending most of the half-hour ride in silence.
    “Thanks,” Rae murmured and reached for the door.
    “I’ll call you.”
    Rae stopped and turned toward him, a sudden realization hitting her as sure as asmack. This is the way it will always be with us, she concluded. This netherworld where illusion is the reality, forever locked in place with no hope of more.
    “I…don’t think you should, Quinn. We’re simply going through the motions, pretending that all is right with the world. We are never asking for, or expecting, any more than the little we receive, convinced that we are okay.” She didn’t know when this half step was no longer enough, only that it was.
    He stared at her, knowing that this moment between them was going to happen, and maybe it was best. Better now than before she became too much a part of his life, found her way into his soul. Slowly he nodded, tugging the inside of his bottom lip with his teeth. “If that’s what you want.”
    Rae felt the rage well up inside her, the weeks of frustration and uncertainty. “What about you, Quinn? Do you even know?” she shouted.
    “I’m not like you, Rae—”
    “I don’t expect you to be,” she snapped, cutting him off. “You don’t even know what you’re like. You live this half life, just goingthrough the motions, pretending to be alive. I’d hoped that we would have moved beyond…this…” She tossed her hands helplessly up in the air. She took a breath and lowered her voice. “But it’s not