A Fox's Maid by Brandon Varnell Read Free Book Online Page B

give me the honor of squeezing―guh!”
    Several globules of saliva flew from Eric’s mouth as Christine embedded her fist into his gut, driving the wind from his lungs in one fell swoop. As the perverted young man fell to the floor and curled up in a fetal position, gasping in agonic asphyxia, the pale-skinned girl stared down at the new target of her anger and embarrassment.
    Tsundere protocols: activated.
    “ DIE!”
    “ GYYAAAA!”
    “ YOU DISGUSTING, LECHEROUS PIECE OF SHIT!”
    “ GAAAA!”
    “ DIE! DIE! DIE!”
    “ MOMMY!”
    “ What’s this girl’s malfunction?” Lindsay leaned over and cupped a hand to her mouth, whispering into Lilian’s ear.
    “ That girl’s a tsundere ,” was Lilian’s very succinct answer. She didn’t seem to care if Christine heard her or not.
    “ Tsundere ?” Lindsay blinked, then again for good measure. “Why does that sound so familiar?”
    “ Um.” Lilian decided to educate her new friend, pulling out her handy-dandy book, “TvTropes for Dummies,” and flipping through the pages. “Let’s see, there’s… yandere , nope. Dandere ? Nope. Kuudere . Uh uh. Himedere ? Um, that’s not it either…”
    Lindsay watched the redhead flip through the pages of her book, then turned to look at Kevin. “What is she doing?”
    “ Don’t worry,” he reassured her, “this is just a part of her character concept.”
    “ Her what?”
    “… Never mind.”
    “ Ah-ha! Found it!” Lilian cried out triumphantly. Coughing into her hand, the redhead adopted a lecture pose, her left arm bending at the elbow to support her right arm, the hand of which held the book up to her face. She then began to read. “ The Japanese term tsundere refers to a character who alternates between two distinct moods: tsun-tsun which refers to someone who acts cold and irritable, and dere-dere , which is when someone acts demure and shy.”
    Lindsay didn’t get it. “Um, what?”
    “ This term was first used to describe characters who had a cold and sometimes even harsh personality, but over the course of a story would reveal a soft and vulnerable side. In recent years, this character archetype has become flanderized, and now people generally associate it with characters who flip between these two emotional extremes at the slightest provocation.”
    “ I am so lost,” Lindsay muttered.
    “ Don’t worry,” Kevin reassured her again, “you’ll get used to it.”
    For some reason, his words made Lindsay groan.
    Lilian ignored them and continued. “The character’s tsun-tsun side can range from giving their crush ‘the silent treatment’ to ‘shoving their face in a blender while shouting obscenities and threatening with murder.’ Anime enthusiasts have theorized why a tsundere’s behavior can vary so wildly. Most generally agree that the reason has to do with the conflicting feelings of affection they have toward a love interest, and their reaction to having those feelings in the first place.”
    “ Uh…”
    “ Basically—” Lilian snapped the book shut and put it back into her Extra Dimensional Storage Space— “ Tsunderes are people who have a tendency to act really bitchy and cold, but are actually really nice people on the inside.”
    “ I’LL KILL YOU! I’LL MURDER YOU DEAD!”
    “ OH, GOD NOOOOO!!”
    “… Most of the time.”
    Lindsay looked at the gorgeous redhead for a moment longer, before deciding to ignore everything Lilian had just said. She didn’t even want to consider what this girl was talking about. Tsun-tsun ? Dere-dere ? Tsunderes ? Count her out. She had no interest in that Japanese stuff Kevin and his friends obsessed over.
    Instead, she looked over to where Christine was laying waste to one of the boys in their group… only to wince when she saw the pale-skinned female stomp on Eric’s better-left-unmentioned male anatomy. The squeal that followed, reminiscent of a pig being gutted, nearly made Lindsay reach down to protect her own non-existent