A Game of Battleships by Toby Frost Read Free Book Online Page A

Germany, you know.’
    ‘Music?’ it occurred to Smith that these strange people might be a popular beat combo. ‘From  Germany? But… where’s the tuba?’
    ‘Kraftwerk were way before their time,’ Jurgens explained, and he raised an eyebrow. ‘They had  neither a tuba nor leather shorts.’
    ‘Nudists, eh?’ Smith wondered if he was being taken entirely seriously. ‘I’m more a Pink Zeppelin  man,’ he said. Jurgens gave him a rather curious look and sat down.
    ‘So then,’ Jurgens began, crossing his legs, ‘I understand your vessel was attacked by persons  unknown on the edge of European space.’
    ‘That’s right. We were guarding an automated convoy. The enemy appeared out of nowhere,  literally. There was a flash of light and then suddenly they were gone, just like that.’
    Jurgens frowned. ‘It sounds as if the technology used was highly advanced. I took the liberty of  looking at your spacecraft from the docking bay cameras. From the looks of it, your attacker must have used some sort of rust-generating beam on your hull. Most unfortunate.’
    ‘Er. . yes,’ Smith replied. ‘A rust laser. That’s it. Any chance of a cup of tea?’
    ‘Of course.’
    Smith accepted his tea warily and peered into the very white cup. It was not too bad, he decided,  taking a sip. Not bad at all.’
    Jurgens nodded. ‘Now, Captain Smith, do you have any idea who might have attacked you?’
    ‘Well, no. I mean, it could be any number of enemies, you see. Space is full of rum types,’ he  added, remembering not to mention who the rum types might include. ‘Aliens envy Britain its space  empire. What with the Ghasts on one side and the bloody lemming-men on the other, it’s not as if we’re short of enemies. And then there are all the lowlifes who work for Gertie – Aresians, filthy Ghastists, that sort of riff-raff.’
    ‘And envious foreign powers too, no doubt.’
    ‘Well, of course – I mean, no, not at all. Except for that loony who runs Russia. Mad King Boris,  that’s the fellow. Otherwise, I’m sure you chaps are fine.’
    ‘It is indeed fortunate that King Boris declared war upon himself. The European Federation has  the same problem, Captain Smith. It is forever defending its borders against those who would wish to  force their laws and customs upon us.’
    ‘I’m sure it does. I’d like some more tea, please.’
    ‘As a representative of an allied nation your vessel will, of course, be repaired,’ Jurgens explained, refilling Smith’s cup. ‘However, I fear your ship may be in dock for some while. Rest assured that some of Europe’s finest technicians will do the work.’
    Smith fought down the image of the John Pym rebuilt in the style of a gingerbread house. The  possibility of Suruk’s frogs chewing through the hull would be nothing compared to the prospect of  Carveth eating the entire ship. ‘That’s very kind of you.’
    ‘Now… I understand you have a colleague who needs transport, yes?’
    Smith’s chair was getting uncomfortable. ‘That’s right. I was told to mention the Phantom .’
    Jurgens leaned back. ‘I see. Yes, I thought your mission might be a little. . under the radar. Our  mutual friend, Herr W, has made the arrangements. Transport will be provided.’
    ‘Thanks. That’s very decent of you.’
    ‘Not at all. We are, after all, keen to help our neighbours. Alle Menschen werden Bruder , as Schiller puts it. Do you know Beethoven’s Ninth?’
    ‘Really? At what?’
    ‘Ah… never mind. Now, a ship that can evade normal detection is clearly a serious threat.
    However, I have a plan. Viennese Whirl?’ he inquired, holding up a plate.
    ‘No thanks. Go on.’
    ‘Docked here at Tannhauser Gate is a European Union military surveillance vessel, the EU-571 ,  under the command of Raumskapitan Schmidt. Although it would be somewhat counter-procedural, I  could sequester it.’
    ‘Righto,’ Smith replied, making a mental note to check what