A Game of Groans: A Sonnet of Slush and Soot by George R.R. Washington Alan Goldsher Read Free Book Online Page A

way.”
    “Are you certain?” Juan asked.
    Sin scratched his head. “Actually, I’m not. All the maps of Easterrabbit are too small to discern. Especially the one in the mass market paperback.”
    “And good luck finding a hardback.”
    “I know, right? You can’t even get a trade paperback, let alone a hardcover. And those map replications you see online are a joke.”
    “No kidding,” Juan complained. “ Mudo 8 bloggers.”
    “Anyhow, why do you even want to go anywhere near the Wall?” Sin asked.
    “I want to be like you, Sin. I want to join the Fraternity of the Swatch!”
    After a long sigh, Sin whispered, “I think I know why you want to be a Swatchman.”
    “Is that so?” Juan queried. “And why is that?”
    Sin put his big hand on Juan’s thin shoulder and said, “My friend, no matter how hard you work, no matter how many lives you save, no matter how many of the Others you kill…”
    From the distance, a voice cried, “We’re not the Others! We’re the Awesomes, asshole!”
    “… you will always be a jerkoff,” Sin finished.
    “I understand, compadre, ” 9 Juan said. “But why should I not strive to be the best jerkoff House Barker has ever seen?”
    “Why?” Sin exclaimed, his face becoming cloudy with anger. “ Why?! Because you don’t know what it’s like on the Wall, man. You don’t know what it’s like down there in the shit. You don’t know what it’s like to have Charlie breathing down your neck day after day after day, to know that some Commie sniper has his rifle pointed at your heart from the second you get up, to the second you fall asleep. You don’t know what it’s like to see your buddy get fragged, then hold him in your arms, and hear him say with his dying breath, ‘Make sure you tell LaShonda and the kids I love ’em.’” Sin wiped a thin film of sweat from his forehead, then continued, “On the plus side, the acid down by the Wall is pretty good, so there’s that.”
    Juan roared, “Nothing you say will change my mind! Nada! ” 10
    Sin asked, “Is that right? Ever heard of Rush Year, young Juan?”
    “No.”
    “Ah,” Sin mused, “Rush Year. It’s sheer hell. Degrading. Insulting. Embarrassing. Lots of drinking. Full of boring contests that bring the story to a grinding halt. And that’s all I can say, because I took an oath of silence.”
    Puffing up his chest, Juan blustered, “None of that scares me, ese. ”
    Sin shrugged. “It should.”
    “Well, it doesn’t. I’m pledging whether you like it or not.”
    Sin clapped him on the shoulder and said, “You do what you have to do, Juan Nieve. You’ll never survive, of course.” He looked at the castle, said, “Alrighty then, off to onion-fest,” and wandered inside.
    Juan felt an anger build within his soul, an emotion unlike anything he’d ever experienced. He spun around, took three running steps, tripped over the sleeping Fourshadow, and fell onto a man who was sitting in the mud. Jumping up, Juan said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t see you.”
    “That’s the first time anybody’s ever said that about me.” After the man pulled himself to his full height, Juan understood what he meant.
    The jerkoff gawked at the stick-figured giant and asked, “How tall are you?”
    The giant shrugged. “No idea what unit of measure they use around here. Feet? Meters? Cubits? Mud balls? My balls?” He offered Juan his hand and said, “Tritone Sinister, House Sinister’s resident japemeister.”
    Shaking hands, Juan said, “Juan Nieve, House Barker’s resident jerkoff.”
    Grinning, Tritone exclaimed, “You’re a jerkoff? Godsdamn it, I’m a jerkoff, too!”
    “Stop fooling with me, comediante . 11 You look like a Sinister.”
    Tritone pointed at his long legs and said, “Do these legs look like those of a Sinister? I may be a full-blooded Sinister, but when you’re the only person in your family who has to duck to get into any room, you get treated like a jerkoff. I feel your pain,