A Man to Hold on to (A Tallgrass Novel) by Marilyn Pappano Read Free Book Online

things. Things aren’t real wishes.”
    No. Things could be bought, borrowed, traded, and sold. Real wishes were rarer, more precious, lasting longer…or not nearly long enough.
    “Matheson, party of three,” the hostess called, saving Therese from having to respond to Jacob’s last words. She smiled at him, and together they circled the fountain to reach the young woman, Abby trailing silently behind.

Chapter 3
    I t had been a long time since Keegan had had an entire morning to himself with nothing to do. He slept in late—a clock down the street was chiming eleven when he woke—then ran a few miles, bought a protein bar and a Red Bull from the convenience store on the corner, and made it lunch out on the stoop. The old metal chair was rusted, the paint sun-faded, and it creaked when he shifted just like the ones in his mom’s yard.
    The house where he’d grown up was nothing special: maybe fifteen hundred square feet, three bedrooms, a living room, dining room, and kitchen that had seen a lot of hard use. The front porch was broad with mismatched chairs, screens to keep out the bugs, and a paddle fan to help cool the heat. Around back was a large yard where grass never grew, thanks to all the playing that went on there, another assortment of odd chairs and tables, a clothesline Ercella still used, and toys: a swing set as rusted as this chair, old bikes, a sandbox, a wading pool.
    She’d worked hard to raise him, his brothers, and his sisters. Keegan didn’t remember a lot about their father even though he was the oldest of the five. A wandering man, she’d called Max Logan. A no-good waste of air, their Granny Dupree said. Ercella must have agreed with her mother eventually, because after baby number five, she’d given up hope of him ever coming home to stay. She’d never divorced him, though, and she still thought of him fondly, at least from time to time.
    And she’d never, ever made Keegan or any of the others feel unwanted. Hell, she couldn’t even imagine not wanting a kid.
    So what was he going to say to the major? And what if the major didn’t want Mariah? Didn’t remember Sabrina? Didn’t want his wife finding out he’d been unfaithful?
    What if he refused to take her? Even the courts wouldn’t force a child on an unwilling parent. The Army would make him provide for her, and she’d get all the benefits any other dependent got. But benefits wouldn’t make up for not having a family.
    Wearily, he gathered his trash, went inside, and stripped for a shower. If he didn’t come up with a way to break the news to Mariah’s father before he left the motel, he’d do it on the drive over. He always worked best under pressure.
    He shaved, dressed in jeans and an old gray-and-black PT shirt, put on running shoes. After staring at himself in the mirror a minute or two, he set his jaw and turned away. It was time to go. No point in putting off the inevitable. Time to fulfill his sole duty to Mariah.
    It was harder than he’d expected to walk out the door, lock up, and get in his car. The farther he drove, the slower he drove. It was inevitable, right? He didn’t want to be a father. He wasn’t a father. And this could turn out to be the best thing in Mariah’s life. Her father and his wife might welcome her into their family. They might be the parents she deserved. They might love her and pamper her and treat her like a princess.
    And then Keegan could go on with his life. Best outcome for everyone.
    The minivan was in the driveway again. He pulled to the curb, this time in front of the house, and shut off the engine. Took a deep breath. Swiped his hands on his jeans. Took his keys. Got out.
    The yard was green, and flowers were blooming in the beds. Some of them smelled sweet as he walked past. Others didn’t smell at all. The flag was flying this afternoon—or, more appropriately, hanging. Not even a breath of wind stirred the air. The flowers on the porch glistened with water that pooled