Abbie's Gift by M. R. THOMAS Read Free Book Online

she sat there, but once the tears had dried up she felt a sense of relief, as though they had got rid of some burden of negative emotion, and she felt better and lighter, and able to deal with the rest of her day.
    She knew she had to continue to move forward with her plans for her life, sorting stuff, getting back to work. To her surprise though today she felt unable to focus, the motivation that she had already had begun to slip, but she was determined to somehow pull herself through.
     
    Abbie studied the photograph again and smiled at the image: there was such emotional energy and love in their faces, and again tears tugged at her and she felt them rise within her soul, but she fought them and breathed deeply and with an element of control regained, she headed upstairs.
     
    Within a few minutes she had changed in to her running gear, and she sat on the floor and stretched her leg muscles just as Peter always had advised her.  She didn’t know if this was actually of any benefit though, and wondered did she ever run hard enough for it to matter? She carried on stretching anyway, and after a few minutes was outside and on the doorstep. She knew this run would be hard and a challenge as it was her first run for quite a few weeks. She felt she wanted to be taken out of her comfort zone and to hurt a little, that way she felt any excess adrenaline in her system would be put to a more practical use than grief she thought.
     
    After running along several roads, Abbie began to feel that she was getting into a comfortable rhythm; her breathing felt laboured but manageable. She then realised that she hadn’t put on her heart rate monitor that Peter had bought her. She used to wear it often as it helped her pace herself and assisted her fitness, but today she would have to manage without it.  She would try to let her body guide her and make sure she didn’t overdo it.
     
    When she arrived at the park after a few minutes she decided to do a few circuits of the large playing field, but some of the rises almost caught her out a few times and she almost lost her footing and stumbled, but managed to keep her balance. Abbie had decided that she wanted to run for about 30 minutes, she felt it would be enough to push her while being physically manageable, and it was enough to absorb her attention and allow her to focus all her effort.
     
    At the end of the lap, she stopped and turned and looked at the parkland behind her: it was lush and a beautiful shade of green.  Although it was clearly autumn, everywhere looked so alive and vibrant:  some brown leaves were fluttering along the ground, while others still attached to branches flapped in the breeze. Everything felt was rich and dazzling, as though Nature itself was showing off all her glorious colours.
     
    Abbie was glad to be outdoors although the sky was grey and the air cool on her face, but her body was warm in her running kit. As soon as she felt that her breath was slowing she began to retrace her steps, her running rhythm now controlled and purposeful, and for a time it seemed as though her limbs were simply gliding her over the grassy surface.
     
    She decided to go up to the top of the hill where she had walked yesterday, suddenly resolving that her immediate short-term exercise goal would be to run around the park and playing field and then get to the top of the hill without stopping…could she make that, she wondered?  It wouldn’t be easy, she knew that, it would be challenging, but the sense of the effort to come excited her.
     
    Once on the path leading to the top of the hill the gradient began to rise steeply so Abbie slowed and deliberately focused on her breathing, steady and controlled.  The gravel crunched under the soles of her trainers as she realised the extra effort that was needed to continue upwards.  She pushed the air with her arms and was aware of her heart beating rapidly. Her lungs felt as though they were bursting, that she couldn’t get