Am I Boring My Dog? by Edie Jarolim Read Free Book Online Page B

way we speak about animals changes the way we act towards them. By replacing “ownership,” which suggests unbridled power, with “guardianship,” which suggests protection, we head off animal abuse, the theory goes.
    Hmmm.
    Of course Frankie is my companion and I’m constantly reminded that he’s an animal, but guardian doesn’t come close to describing my indentured servitude to him. When, in return for room, board, medical care, transportation, and poop scooping, Frankie starts pulling his weight by doing the laundry and contributing to the utility bills, I’ll consider redefining our relationship. In the meantime, I own his cute little butt.
    Perhaps more to the point, “companion” and “guardian” are cold in comparison with the terms of endearment you’ll encounter everywhere pet lovers gather, including online. Dogs are regularly referred to as “fur people” or “fur babies,” their owners as “moms” and “dads.” Me, I’m a bit creeped out by the parenting metaphors. As much as I adore Frankie, I find the notion of having given birth to him or any member of another species rather freakish. And I don’t even want to contemplate who the father of such a union might have been—and what unnatural acts I would have had to perform with him. I’ve therefore decided to start calling Frankie my SCO: Significant Canine Other. This term can be adapted to multidog households, with SCO1, SCO2, and so on used to refer to the order of acquisition (um, assumption of the guardianship role).

21. WHERE SHOULD MY DOG SLEEP?
    Wolf-canine analogies loom large in expert opinions on this topic. Dubious as many such comparisons may be, in this case they lead to advice that strikes me as reasonable. To wit, whatever you ultimately decide about sharing your Posturepedic, it’s a good idea to let your new dog stay in the wolf den (a.k.a. your bedroom) initially, to allow her to feel like part of the pack (a.k.a. you and your family). Proximity to your scent is all that’s required, so it’s fine for her to sleep in her own bed or in a crate. Your dog will never tell you if you’re too close, so just choose a place where you won’t trip over her if you get up in the middle of the night.

    In fact, it’s not only fine to keep your dog at a distance at first, but desirable. Because Frankie was so standoffish initially, I was thrilled when he finally deigned to get off the couch and bond with my pillow. But we’re talking about a diminutive pup. You might, with good reason, have reservations about letting an 80-pound lug hog the blankets. So play hard to get for a while, at least until you’re sure whether or not your dog snores. It’s the same as with humans: after you let them into your bed, you have a tough time getting them out.

22. WHAT COMMUNICATION BASICS DO I NEED TO KNOW TO GET OFF ON THE RIGHT FOOT/ PAWS?
    Chapter 6 focuses on training in more detail, but some things are useful to keep in mind from the beginning.
DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT FROM YOUR DOG, AND BE CONSISTENT ABOUT ASKING FOR IT
    Some people don’t mind if their dog shares the sofa with them; others prefer to keep their furniture pup-free. Make up your mind about what you’d like and stick to it; otherwise you’ll just confuse your dog.
    But don’t be inflexible. Your dog may not be capable of conforming to your every lifestyle desire, especially early on. Just establish general principles and work towards them as best you can.
DON’T REWARD FOR BAD BEHAVIOR, AND DON’T SCOLD FOR GOOD
    This corollary to the first dictate may seem obvious, but it’s surprisingly easy to do the opposite of what you intend. For example, it may initially tickle you to catch your dog nabbing food from the kitchen counter, but if you laugh instead of commanding “No” and distracting your dog the first few times, you’re likely to create an unregenerate counter surfer—or at the least one who’s baffled by your inconsistency.
    Conversely, if you catch your