American rust by Philipp Meyer Read Free Book Online Page A

it.
    They passed an old flatbed truck, doorless and half- sunk in the sand. It occurred to Isaac that there might be blood on him, he hadn't taken a shower or washed or anything. It wouldn't spray that far, twenty or thirty feet. Still, he thought. That was extremely stupid.
    They took the long way around town, through the woods where they wouldn't be seen. It was late afternoon when they could just make out the shell of the Standard plant through the trees.
    “Let's just go in and get it over with.” Poe found his cigarettes but took a long time to fumble one out of the pack, and though it wasn't hot, patches of sweat were showing through his shirt.
    “We need to wait till it's almost dark. It'll probably take us half an hour to get him to the river.”
    “This is insane,” said Poe.
    “It was insane staying in there yesterday.”
    “You know we're half a mile from the nearest road. It'll be months before anyone else stumbles in there, maybe years.”
    “Your coat will still be there.”
    “Guess I should have remembered to grab it on the way out. It was probably the guy with the knife to my neck that distracted me.”
    “I know that.”
    “It's freakin me out goin in there again.”
    “The great hunter. He shoots the guts out of a deer but when it comes to a guy who was actually trying to kill him—”
    “It's a lot fuckin different,” Poe said.
    “Well, you should have maybe worried about that yesterday.”
    “The only reason I was anywhere near this shithole was you,” Poe told him.
    Isaac turned away and walked off into the trees along the river. He found a rock by the water and sat down. It was average for a river, a few hundred yards across and in most places only nine or ten feet deep. Nine feet under. Good as five fathoms. Good enough for your mother and the Swede both. Drained of heart and freed of flesh. Listen to you, he thought, just turn yourself in. Thought you'd be the one saving people.
    Sometime later Poe came and found him and they watched the water in silence, there was the sound of leaves shushing, the squawk of a heron, a distant motorboat.
    “You know he isn't just gonna disappear. Some fuckin Jet Skier'll run him over by lunchtime tomorrow, guaranteed. Shit doesn't just magically evaporate because you stick it in a river.”
    “It doesn't take much to sink a body,” said Isaac.
    “Jesus, Mental. Listen to us.”
    “It's already done,” said Isaac. “Pretending we can walk away is just going to make it worse.”
    Poe shook his head and sat down a good distance away.
    The sun was getting lower over the hills on the other side of the river, it was a pleasant quiet scene, sitting there looking over the water, but that was not how it felt. You're just a visitor here, he thought. Look at the sun and feel like you own it but it's been setting behind those hills for fifteen thousand years—since the last ice age. Glacial period, he corrected himself, not ice age. When those hills were formed. This area was the edge of the Wisconsin glaciation. Meanwhile here you are. Temporary visitor on the sun's earth. Think your mother will be here forever and then she's gone. Still sinking in five years later. Disappeared in a day. Same as you will. Nothing you can see that won't outlast you—rocks sky sun. Watch a sunset and feel like you own it but it's been rising without you for a thousand years. No, he thought, more like several billion. Can't even get your head around the real number. You're the only one who even knows you exist. Born and die between the earth's heartbeats. Which is why people believe in God—you're not alone. Used to, he thought. It was my mother that made me believe. And it was her that made you not believe. Stop it. You're lucky to be here at all. Don't be a weak thinker.
    They're simple facts is all. Your only power is choosing what to make of them. She stayed under two weeks with a few pounds of rocks in her pockets. There is your lesson from that. No different this