Anything But Love by Abigail Strom Read Free Book Online

Amelia had told their son that if he insisted on becoming a public school teacher, they wouldn’t pay his tuition. He’d be on his own.
    He’d accepted that challenge without hesitation, taking out student loans and holding down three jobs to pay his way at a community college. After a year his parents had backed down, declaring they were proud that Ben had stuck to his guns and supporting his transfer to a four-year university with a renowned education department.
    But not everyone could be like Ben and survive. Not everyone could—
    “What are you thinking about?”
    She turned her head, startled. “What?”
    Ben had put down his newspaper and was leaning back in his seat, a quizzical look on his face.
    “You were frowning just now, like you were arguing with someone in your head. I wondered what you were thinking about.”
    He looked relaxed and comfortable in jeans and a Mets T-shirt, while she was dressed in an ivory linen pantsuit that would wrinkle if you looked at it wrong. Luckily her unique set of life skills included not wrinkling her clothes.
    “I wasn’t thinking about anything in particular,” she said.
    “That’s too bad.”
    He was smiling at her, which made his brown eyes look warm and full of life. She resisted the urge to smile back.
    “Why is that too bad?”
    “Because if you were arguing with someone in your head, you could tell me about it, and then we could have a conversation. As opposed to, you know, sitting here in silence.”
    She frowned. “I’m perfectly willing to have a conversation. We were sitting in silence because you were reading the newspaper.”
    “I was reading the newspaper because you pulled out a magazine the minute we sat down.”
    Okay, that was true.
    “Well, I’m not reading now,” she said. “What do you want to talk about?”
    “We can talk about anything.”
    “All right, then. Were there any interesting articles in the Times ?”
    He shook his head. “When I said we could talk about anything, I didn’t mean current events. I meant anything about our actual lives.”
    That didn’t sound appealing. “I don’t want to talk about my life. I’m going to Bermuda to get away from my life.”
    “You don’t have to talk about Tom or the wedding or any of that. But you and I haven’t had a real conversation in a long time. I don’t know who you are now, and I’d like to. Especially since we’re going on a ten-day vacation together.”
    She supposed that was reasonable. The only problem was, she wasn’t sure who she was anymore. But she couldn’t say that to Ben, who wouldn’t understand. He’d always known exactly who he was.
    “I don’t know where to start,” she said. “I mean . . . what do you want to know?”
    “Do you still like the Backstreet Boys?”
    That made her smile. “Of course not.”
    “Well, that was the last solid piece of information I had on your musical taste. What do you listen to these days?”
    She shrugged. “Tom likes jazz, so I’ve been listening to a lot of that.”
    “Jazz, huh? Who are your favorite artists?”
    She started to name some of Tom’s favorites—Chet Baker and Miles Davis and Charlie Parker. But then she stopped.
    “What is it?” Ben asked.
    For some reason, she was remembering what he had said yesterday.
    Life is short, and you’ve already spent too much of yours doing things other people thought you should do. For once, do something because you want to. Because you’ll enjoy it.
    “Nothing. I mean . . . if you’re really interested in the music I like . . . the truth is, I don’t really enjoy jazz. I only listened to it because Tom likes it.”
    She braced herself for Ben to say something critical. Something like, Why did you waste your time listening to music you don’t enjoy because your fake fiancé liked it?
    But he didn’t. He just said, “Well, then, there’s a perk to not marrying the guy. You’ll never have to play another jazz song if you don’t want to.”
    She