stadium is empty. I sit in the bleachers and look down at the field. I imagine Iâm down there at the bottom of the valley, clearing a soccer ball out of Fraser High territory as a Woodvine player closes in on me. I imagine the crowd groaning as another potential goal is kicked away by Addie Williams.
Then I realize itâs me groaning, not the crowd. Iâm groaning because Iâll never get to deny Woodvine or any other team from scoring again.
And yet there I still am, on the field, as Woodvine charges once more at Fraserâs goal. The imaginary crowd around me gets more and more excited as a Woodvine forward crosses the ball to the middle. Of course, they shouldnât be excited. They shouldnât stand or cheer or hold their collective breath. Because Iâm down there with my superhero calves, waiting to launch into the air and head the cross away.
Except I canât jump. I canât even move. Eva Riley has her hands wrapped around me and is holding me down. Sheâs driving with her legs. Sheâs tackling me.
The real me stands up from the bleacher bench just as the imaginary me falls to the ground.
All this time, Iâve been in a dazeâdriving from one field to another, trying to get used to the idea of never playing soccer again.
But Iâm not dazed anymore. Iâm mad.
Iâm not the one whoâs going to give up her spot on the soccer field. At least, Iâm not the
only
one. If Iâm going, Evaâs going with me.
I
tâs getting dark by the time I pull into Evaâs driveway.
The drivewayâs empty, as I knew it would be. Her family is at church like they are every night.
The front door is unlocked as usual.
I take out my phone and look at the time. 7:51 P.M. They usually go to the seven oâclock service on weekdays, but Iâm not exactly sure how long it takes. An hour, maybe? So Iâd better hurry.
âYou first, girl,â I say.
Iâm talking to Belle, who I brought with me. I was worried my parents would catch me when I stopped at home to get her, but they werenât there. Theyâre probably out looking for me, I know, but I canât worry about that now.
I have blackmail material to find.
I follow Belle into the house and let her go racing through the house to find her friend. They havenât seen each other in months, and Belle is frantic with excitement. Sheâs got a great nose, so to her the whole house must reek of beagle.
I listen to her dash around the downstairs as I head up to Evaâs room.
Truthfully, Iâm not exactly sure what I hope to find in here. Something incriminating, I guess. Something that will prove Evaâs the one whoâs been harassing me and not the other way around. A diary, maybe. I donât know for sure that Eva keeps a diary, but I think thereâs a pretty good chance. After all the letters sheâs written to me, maybe she writes to herself too.
Still, even if she does have a diary, itâs not like I can just show it to the worldânot unless I want people to know I trespassed in her house. But maybe I can blackmail her with it.
Unless you tell the truth
, I could tell her,
Iâm going to make your FEELINGS public knowledge.
Yikes. Who knew I was capable of being this nasty?
A part of me thinks Iâm notâthat even if I find a diary, Iâll never use it to blackmail Eva, no matter what sheâs done. But another part of meâthe angry partâkind of likes this plan.
As I search the room, I canât help noticing how messy it is. Clothes are everywhere, which is strange. Evaâs not a neat freak, but sheâs no slob either. Whatâs even stranger is all the dresser drawers. The bottom drawers are open and look rummaged through. Pant legs and sweatshirt arms spill over the drawersâ edges. The top drawers have been pulled completely out and toppled over. Balled-up socks and bunched-up underwear clutter the