As White as Snow by Salla Simukka Read Free Book Online

unsettling.
    They knew things about each other before being told. They knew without knowing. They guessed each other’s favorite foods. They could predict each other’s favorite books. They knew what would make the other cry for joy and what would make them weep in sorrow. They talked over each other, finishing each other’s sentences, thinking the same thoughts at the same time, hearing the same song. They moved so exactly on the same wavelength that Lumikki never would have believed it was possible. It almost felt supernatural. It felt like a miracle.
    But Lumikki didn’t actually think there was anything supernatural about their connection. It was simply that, when they’d first met, they’d sensed an intense sameness in each other that drew them together. They had been able to read things in each other’s expressions, gestures, and postures that they couldn’t necessarily have put into words, but which burned into their consciousness as part of their deeper knowledge of one another. Everything they had experienced, seen, heard, felt, read, tasted, and smelled in their lives had left its mark on them.
    Everything they’d experienced had accumulated in layers of deep knowledge, which allowed them to intuit their similarity. That was their connection. And when something like that came along, there was no holding back. You just had to trust it.
    That was how Lumikki felt. And she didn’t even try to protect herself. She opened herself to Blaze. She let him come to her, to wrap her in his heat. Lumikki sensed that she might get burned, but she took that risk without a moment’s hesitation.
    Before Blaze, Lumikki had thought that physical intimacy would cause her the most problems in dating. Years of bullying had left her fearful of being touched, even repulsed by it. She couldn’t stand having strangers violate her personal space. Or even really people she knew. She wanted to be able to choose when people touched her and how. Only very rarely did she feel any desire to touch anyone else. Lumikki had once thought that she might not ever be able to date or love anyone because the thought of letting someone get close enough even to kiss her was so unpleasant.
    But when the emotional distance between her and Blaze vanished so swiftly, physical distance became unbearable. Her powerful need for closeness, to have her skin pressed against his, astonished Lumikki. On their third date, they were at Lumikki’s apartment, drinking coffee again, as they would so often during their relationship, sitting at her kitchen table talking and laughing. Their drinks always ended up cold long before either of them could finish.
    Lumikki squeezed her coffee cup with both hands to keep herself from reaching out and touching Blaze’s arm, stroking his cheek, running her fingers through his short blond hair. She pressed her lips hard against the rim of the mug even though what she wanted was to press them against his lips. She had never experienced anything like this before. Her pulse raced like crazy. She trembled inside from her head to her toes, trying not to let the trembling show.
    Lumikki tried to continue their banter as if nothing was happening. At some point, she no longer had any clue what Blaze was saying. All she could think about was kissing him. About how she would take his face gently but firmly in her hands, look deep into his glittering, icy eyes, and kiss him. Lumikki had never kissed anyone, but now the desire was so strong that she didn’t even consider things like whether she would know how or what technique she should use.
    Feelings had nothing to do with technique. This feeling was pure burning and fire.
    Suddenly, Blaze blushed. He mussed his hair and smiled in his boyish way. Then Lumikki couldn’t stand it anymore. She set her mug down so hard that the coffee sloshed ontothe table. A second later, they were wrapped in each other’s arms, awkwardly perched on his chair, then standing in the kitchen, the chair