as anything
other than my dad. He’d retired from a career in law enforcement two years ago.
I knew that most found his six-foot-four-inch stature and big barrel chest
intimidating, but to me he’d always been a big teddy bear. He was a true
Southern gentleman. Although he didn’t typically have much to say, people
listened when he did speak. His hair got a little grayer and thinner each time
I came home, but to me he was perfect.
“Hi, sweetheart.
How was your flight?” he asked.
“Oh, it was fi—,
I mean, good, thanks.” I smiled. Brian had turned me off of the word fine .
“Hi, Momma.”
My mother came
into the foyer and hugged me too. She wore an apron over her sweater and pants,
showing the evidence that she’d been hard at work in the kitchen. My mom might
be sixty, but she could easily pass for ten years younger, with hardly a gray
hair on her head or a wrinkle on her face. She might have gained a little
weight in the last couple of years, but in true Norwegian heritage style, she
wore the curves impeccably.
“Sweetie, look
at you, you’re wasting away.” Leave it to my mom to always think I’d lost
weight as an excuse to push butter-laden food on me for the next few days. I
knew she loved me like I’d been her own from birth and that keeping me fed was
her way of letting me know how much she missed taking care of me.
After making my
way up the stairs to my childhood room, I put down my bags and took a moment to
fight the disquiet over being in this space. Then I thought of Haylee who had
lost her father a few years ago and her mother last year, and I felt
appreciation for having a family to come home to over the holidays.
I went
downstairs and hugged my mom again.
“Now, then,
what’s this?” she asked, turning and touching my chin. I was thirty-two years
old, but she had a way of making me feel fourteen again.
“I love you,
Mom,” I responded thickly.
“I love you,
too. Everything all right? Any new men in your life?”
I tried not to
roll my eyes at the question. In my town, most people were interested in my
love life or lack thereof. At church tonight I would have that question asked
at least a half-dozen more times. “Everything is good, and nothing to talk
about in the other department.”
I nipped a piece
of bacon that would go into some sort of side dish tomorrow and got ready to
help with the preparations. Cooking wasn’t my forte, but it wasn’t that hard to
chop or mix something, and I was certainly capable of washing dishes. Being in
the kitchen, especially during the holidays, was a requirement for any Southern
woman.
“Well, I know I
don’t say this enough, but you know I’m real proud of you, don’t you, Sasha
Jayne?” She had turned and was studying me, her eyes reflecting her words.
The tears
pricked my eyes, and I swallowed hard. “Thanks, Mom. I appreciate it.”
My parents
hadn’t judged, but I’d known it had hurt them that I’d been hell-bent to leave
this town at eighteen and had never looked back except for the occasional
visit. They’d lovingly raised me. But even they hadn’t been prepared for the
true circumstances of my adoption and birth to come out the way it had. My
therapist called that revelation the traumatic trigger that had started my
anxiety attacks. I called it the worst day of my life.
“Here, you can
chop apples for the pie. Tell me about work. What’s new there?”
I knew she
didn’t care much about the world of advertising, but I did share a couple of
pieces. Then I switched to Haylee’s upcoming wedding details as I knew this was
a subject my mom enjoyed.
“You’re leaving
for the wedding from here?”
“Yes. I’m
driving over to Charlotte the morning of the twenty-ninth and taking the plane
down with some others.” A buzz of anticipation hit me about seeing Brian again.
He’d be taking the same plane.
“I’m thankful
you’ll be home for a few days at least. The kids will be happy to see you,
too.”
I gave my
Ryan C. Thomas, Cody Goodfellow