Backfire by J.R. Tate Read Free Book Online

No one said much about it, except a few snide comments here and there about freezing up.  It was typical in the firehouse and Michael didn’t take offense to it.  That’s just how the guys were.
    The smell of Eva’s cooking hit him like a wall as he unlocked the apartment door.  She was in the kitchen in one of his FDNY shirts that practically hung down to her knees.  She stood over the stove, tasting sauce from a spoon. 
    “Hey Mikey! I was wondering when you were gonna get home!”
    He threw his duffel bag on the couch and hugged her from behind.  “Damn Eva, you know you turn me on when you wear my shirts.” He ran his hands down her side, slowing at her hips and at the button of her jeans. “I was filling out the paperwork for time off to go down to Austin.  Captain Rooker said he’d approve it.” He buried his face in her neck, taking in the smell of her hair.
    “That’s great! They’re giving me the time off, too, so it looks like we’ll all make a little family trip out of it. And you were worried they’d get pissed.”
    He let go of her and leaned against the cabinet, skimming through the mail.  “Yeah, well, he’s giving it to me because I kinda froze on the job today.  Said I came back too early.  So really, it’s not a reward.  It’s because they think I’m crazier than a shit house rat.”
    “I highly doubt they think that, hon.  He’s like most of us in thinking that if you get down there and see what Casey is experiencing, you’ll be more relaxed about it.  That’s just how you are.  You’ve always been that way about your little brother.  When it’s out of your hands and you can’t protect him, it bothers you.  It’ll do you some good.”
    “And my diagnosi s of PTSD?” Michael asked, tossing the mail aside as he picked at the chicken sautéing in the frying pan. 
    “You’d be insane to not have that after everything.  You’re not crazy, Mikey.  Please stop saying you are.  If you’re crazy, what does that make me?” She leaned in and gave him a deep kiss on the lips. 
    Pulling away, he ducked his head.  “Dr. Bowen wants me to go visit Viper in prison.”
    A look of dismay was painted on Eva’s face.  She brushed her hair out of her face and sat down at the kitchen table, inviting him to sit down next to her.  Following suit, he didn’t say anything, waiting on her reply.
    “Seriously?”
    “Seriously,” he repeated.
    “And what is her reasoning behind it?” She pulled his hand into hers.
    “She said the quickest way to get over everything is if I forgive Viper and stop holding all of this hatred in my heart.  I honestly don’t know what to think about it.  I mean, what if I go there and my anger towards him just gets worse? As a kid, forgiveness was always what I was taught, but I never had anything like this happen to me before.”
    Eva shook her head an d grasped his hand even tighter.   Even that small embrace felt good to Michael.  “I can see where she’s coming from.  Sometimes you just have to face things.  Kind of like when you face your fears.” She looked up at him, her hazel eyes so beautiful.
    “What happens if I can’t ever forgive him?” Michael kept his voice low, almost ashamed to even ask the question. 
    Eva released his hand and went back to the stove, stirring the food.  “I guess that’s just something you’ll have to live with, Mikey. ”  She dished out a couple of plates.  “Supper is ready.  How about we get our minds off of all of this for a while?  I’m sure you’ll make the right decision.”
    He took the steaming plate of food from her, his appetite suddenly non-existent.  He sat down and picked at the food, not wanting to offend Eva by not eating it.  He listened to her talk about different things she did throughout the day, but his thoughts were elsewhere.  It was bittersweet about getting the time off to go to Austin.  He could only wonder what the guys would say while he was gone.