Bank Shot by Donald E. Westlake Read Free Book Online

bad.’
    â€˜I don’t think he’s happy with it, though,’ said the thin man. ‘But what’s he gonna do?’
    â€˜True. See you around.’
    â€˜So long,’ said the thin man.
    Murch left and walked four blocks before he found a cab. The driver gave him a mournful yet frantic look and said, ‘Tell me you want to go to Manhattan.’
    â€˜I’d like to tell you that,’ Murch said, ‘but my mother’s in Canarsie.’
    â€˜Canarsie,’ said the driver. ‘And I thought it couldn’t get worse.’ He faced front and headed across the sixth and seventh circles of Brooklyn.
    After a while, Murch said, ‘Listen, would you mind a suggestion about the route?’
    â€˜Shut your face,’ said the driver. He said it softly, but he was hunched forward and his hands were gripping the steering wheel very hard.
    Murch shrugged. ‘You’re the boss,’ he said.
    They got there eventually. Murch gave him a nearly 15 percent tip, in honor of his mother, and went inside to find his mother walking around without the brace on. ‘Hey,’ he said. ‘What if I was an insurance adjuster?’
    â€˜You’d’ve rung the doorbell,’ she said.
    â€˜Or looked through the window.’
    â€˜Don’t give me a tough time, Stan,’ she said. ‘I’m going crazy cooped up in this house.’
    â€˜Whyn’t you go for a walk?’
    â€˜I go out with that brace on,’ she said, ‘kids come up and want to know am I a publicity stunt for Beneath the Planet of the Apes. ’
    â€˜Little bastards,’ Murch said.
    â€˜Language.’
    â€˜I tell you what. I’ll take tomorrow off, we’ll go for a ride.’
    She perked up a bit. ‘Where to?’
    â€˜Montauk Point. Break out the maps. Let’s figure a route.’
    â€˜You’re a good boy, Stan,’ his mother said, and soon the two of them had their heads together over road maps opened on the dining-room table. They were like that when the doorbell rang.
    â€˜Damn!’ she said.
    â€˜I’ll get it,’ Murch said. ‘You put on your brace.’
    â€˜I’m using it,’ she said.
    Murch looked at her, and she didn’t have it on. ‘What do you mean, you’re using it?’
    â€˜You put it upside down on the drainboard,’ she said, ‘it’s just perfect for drying socks.’
    â€˜Aw, Mom, you don’t take this seriously.’ The doorbell rang again. ‘What if that’s an insurance adjuster and you’ve got socks on your neck brace?’
    â€˜I’ll put it on, I’ll put it on,’ she said, and went away to the kitchen, while Murch moved more slowly toward the front door.
    It was Kelp out there. Murch opened the door wide and said, ‘Hey, come on in. Long time no see.’
    â€˜I figured I’d –’
    â€˜Mom! Forget it!’
    Kelp looked a little startled.
    Murch said to him, ‘Sorry, I just didn’t want her to put her brace on.’
    Kelp tried a smile but went on looking baffled anyway. ‘Sure,’ he said. ‘I just figured I’d –’
    Murch’s Mom appeared with her neck brace on. ‘You called me?’
    â€˜Hey, Mrs. Murch!’ said Kelp. ‘What happened?’
    â€˜I wanted to tell you to forget it,’ Murch said.
    â€˜I couldn’t make out what you …’ She stopped and frowned at Kelp. ‘Kelp?’
    â€˜You hurt your neck?’
    Disgusted, she said, ‘I put this thing on for you? ’
    â€˜That’s why I called to you,’ said Murch.
    Shaking her head as best she could in the brace, she turned away again, saying, ‘This thing is cold, and it’s wet.’
    Kelp said, ‘You put it on for me?’
    Murch said, ‘Well, if you’re gonna put socks on it, it’s gonna be cold and wet.’
    â€˜Wait a minute,’ Kelp