Beautifully Ruined by Nessa Morgan Read Free Book Online

so long, to be honest.” She steps closer to me, her designer handbag dangling from her hands. “There was just something about you he loved. I could see it in his eyes.” She slowly shakes her head. “He never looked at me the way he looked at you. You were his world. Always have been. I knew that when we were dating but I refused to believe it. I didn’t want to believe it.” She didn’t want to settle with the fact that someone thought I was better than she was. Alexia couldn’t handle being second best…to me.
    I really don’t get what he sees in you. It makes sense now. Those words. It’s kind of obvious if you pay attention . Alexia never meant Ryder. She meant Zephyr. Now that I think about it, Zephyr has always been there for me, even when he was dating someone else. I was always his top priority. He never cared about breaking plans, postponing dates, or even leaving them while on a date with his girlfriend-of-the-week. I was what mattered.
    How had I never noticed this?
    Maybe I ignored it.
    Now everything is different. I’m not supposed to need him now. He’s not supposed to save me when things get tough. I’m supposed to save myself, I’m supposed to do that on my own. I tell myself I don’t need to need him but it’s getting harder to believe. Every second of every minute, it gets harder to lie to myself, to pass him in the halls, to see his window across the alley and his movements behind the drapes; it’s harder to act as if I don’t notice him when it’s all I do.
    I pretend not to notice him look at me when he thinks he’s being discreet. I pretend not to notice anything he does—his movements, his actions. But it’s hard.
    I look at her, finally hearing her, finally paying attention. “That’s what you were telling me months ago?” I say rhetorically, already knowing the answer.
    “Yeah.” Alexia shrugs, a little nervous giggle leaving her lips before she continues. “I guess I always hated you because of Zephyr. I had a crush on him all through elementary school and when you showed up, he stopped hanging around with me at recess and started spending all of his free time with you.” She shakes out her hair, tucking it behind her ears. “I’ve always been a jealous girl, Joey. I know that’s no excuse—”
    “It isn’t,” I interrupt quickly.
    “—for anything I did to you.” Her eyes plead to me, sadness filling them. I nearly believe her. I have this need for people to understand me, to accept me, and she’s calling that need, poking at this emotion deep within me. I’m not sure if she’s poking at it because she’s genuinely apologetic, her feelings are true, or if this is another game of hers.
    Whatever it is, I can’t take the chance that this is another thing for her to toy with. My emotions have been her putty for so long now; I’m not letting myself trust her.
    I bark out a laugh, amazed at the girl—the Queen Bee—standing in front of me. She’s almost human. Almost…
    “Look, I’m trying, Joey. I’m trying to apologize. I’m trying to right my wrong.”
    “Alexia, there’s too much bad blood here—too many wrongs to right.” I tell her, motioning with my hands in the space between us. “I’m not sure what you could do that would, or even could; change everything that’s happened between us.”
    She reaches a hand for me. “Just let me try,” she whispers, begging me. “ Please .” Her eyes begin to water. One tear escaping, rolling down her blushed cheek, no mascara following its trail. She went waterproof, good choice.
    “Try what?” Shrugging, I look around us. Of the students filtering through the doors, none notice us. If they had, they’d wonder what’s going on considering our vast hatred for each other. You can still see how much I despise this girl if you look close enough. I can’t read her well enough, though.
    Looking at her, I fight the urge to tell her there isn’t anything, not a thing she can do. Not really. She’s