BEFORE by Dawn Rae Miller Read Free Book Online Page A

gently letting go of my wrist. 
    Kyra clears her throat. “What happened to being proper?” she asks with disdain.
    Beck ignores her. “C’mon, Birdie, I already grabbed your stuff.” He disappears through the doorway and I get up to follow him.
    “ What was that?”
    I turn to Kyra. “What?”
    She narrows her eyes. “Have you two been doing things in that room of yours you shouldn’t be?”
    Heat flares across my cheeks. “No! Of course not. It’s not allowed.”
    Kyra shifts her eyes away from me. “He’s your mate and you’re going to be bound soon. Why don’t you? I would if it were Maz.” When she looks back at me, I can tell she’s upset. “You share a room, Lark. The State doesn’t care if you kiss or take off all your clothes. Or even sleep in the same bed—which I know you do.” She purses her lips. “Chastely of course, since we’re talking about you and Beck.”
    She’s right. I do sometimes climb into Beck’s bed. But I always have—ever since we were children. It’s nothing unusual for us. But I shouldn’t when no one else is allowed to. 
    “We have to set an example,” I mumble and cast my eyes down. Kyra knows how I feel about being special. “Please don’t tell anyone.”
    She places her finger under my chin and lifts my head. Her deep brown eyes search my face as if daring me to look away. “You don’t like him that way, do you?” It’s not so much a question as a statement.
    I draw my brows together. Of course I like Beck. I like him more than I should – at least until after our binding. When he’s near me my heart races and I’ve been spending too much time lately imagining the press of his lips on mine.
    I open my mouth to tell this to Kyra, but my parched throat aches, and no words come out.
    Life without Beck is unimaginable.
    So why can’t I say it?

 
     
     
     
     
     
    2
     
    Except for Kyra and me, everyone stands in the entryway. While we wait for her, I watch my housemates. Nervousness runs through the group. Today’s tests determine our entire future: our jobs and who my housemates will be bound to after their birthdays. While I worry about a desirable job placement, my friends worry most about who they’ll be paired with. 
    But I understand their nervousness—bindings can only be undone by death. There’s no way around it, so you better hope you like the State’s selection. Even if your mate dies, if you already have two children, the State won’t allow you to rebind. It’s part of our zero population growth policy. 
    Anxiety builds in my chest as I realize that in three months, everything is going to change. We won’t be waking up here, to the smell of Bethina’s wonderful breakfast; we won’t be able to run down the hall to ask each other for help on homework; we won’t be together.
    It’s all coming to an end.
    “Deep thoughts?” Beck’s breath tickles my cheek, his chin resting on my shoulder. I close my eyes, briefly, enjoying the feel of him so close to me and wanting more. 
    I’m such a hypocrite. I shouldn’t be thinking like this, especially when I tell Kyra not too. I shift away from him to maintain the appropriate amount of distance. 
    “I was thinking about the bindings.”
    Beck clears his throat. “Really?”
    “Yeah. It’s soon, you know.” 
    He nudges my shoulder in agreement and runs his hand over my arm. I shiver, despite being wrapped in layers of clothes and a heavy jacket.
    “Are you excited?” His voice is soft in my ear.
    “About what?”
    “Our binding.”
    My mind races ahead to three months in the future, when we’re bound, and he’s mine—forever. When I can finally tell him how I feel without worrying about breaking rules. My heart skips as I feel Beck press against me, my back into his front. And then my mind locks—the images vanish. There’s nothing there.
    His lips graze my cheek when I turn my head to look at him. Embarrassed, I twist away from him in what I hope isn’t a