Being a Boy by James Dawson Read Free Book Online

Least of all with other men. This is a real shame. If men were more willing to discuss their penises, a lot of worry could be resolved in about two minutes flat, as men universally realised they are all pretty much the same.
    Where does this insecurity stem from? I believe the blame can be laid at the door of one word: MANHOOD. We equate penis size with manhood, as if your knob was an avatar for every inch of your being.
    The theory follows that ‘the bigger your penis, the bigger the man.’ This rubbish is supported by pornography and in our culture, I’m sad to say, bigger is better. We strive for big houses, big cars, big bank accounts. It follows that we should be led to believe a big penis is better than a small one.
    I have good news, my friends. This is balls (the metaphorical kind). For many years, the average penis size was thought to be 6.5 inches erect. However, as this was taken from self-measurement, we can be sure the facts were a little skewed because MOST MEN FIB ABOUT PENIS SIZE. More recent data indicates that the actual average penis size is a slightly more modest 5.9 inches erect.
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    Although Europe ‘went metric’ in 1989, willies will always be measured imperically. Strange, because having a 14.9cm cock (5.9 inches) sounds quite impressive.
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    For the record, 5.9 inches is about the length of a biro. You can tweak the size of this page as much as you like but 5.9 inches is always 5.9 inches!

    This data presents an average, so of course there will be dicks out there that are considerably larger or smaller – and before you start comparing, remember yours is probably still growing. It’s tempting to do some sneaky comparing in changing rooms. It’s not a gay thing, it’s reassurance. You’ll find that some are bigger than others, but it’s worth noting that a knob’s soft or ‘flaccid’ state is no indicator of how big it will be when hard, or ‘erect’. We call this ‘growers’ versus ‘showers’. A great big soft schlong is literally no use to anyone – remember it’s only when erect it can do its sex job. Some penises experience upward of 100 per cent size increase when they go from soft to hard, while others increase only by approximately 50–75 per cent.
    This brings us nicely to my next point. Women don’t seem overly concerned about penis size. I asked a female focus group (see ‘Manhood’ later in this chapter)) ‘does size matter?’ The overwhelming consensus was no: ‘For 90 per cent of men, no. However there is that 5 per cent who are too small/thin and 5 per cent who are too big/wide.’
    Interesting. For the first time we encounter a whole new level of fear and paranoia. So you’re pretty sure your dick’s not miniscule? Well, hang on a second mister! Maybe it’s TOO BIG! You can’t win. What we’re dealing with there are the EXTREME cases. But remember, what doesn’t work for one sexual partner will work for another.
    We will talk about sex in depth soon, but let’s state right at the beginning, sex is NOT all about your penis – if it is you’re doing it wrong. Therefore, any worries you have regarding penis size and sex should be separated. However, if you are worried you might fall into the 5 per cent of men who are ‘too small’, don’t worry. Remember what we said last chapter – you might not have finished growing yet, but if you are losing sleep, see your GP or GUM clinic (see ‘Helpful Numbers and Stuff’ at the back of the book) where a professional can reassure you.
    APPEARANCE: The simple fact of the matter is that no two penises look the same. Some are thick, some are thin, some have dark patches of skin, some have foreskins, some do not. If we’re being really honest, they all look RIDICULOUS. The human body design team were having a laugh that day.
    Erect penises rarely poke out from the body at a 90 degree angle. Most have a slight curve somewhere and this can be in any direction. This is totes normal and only a really