Being With the Brothers Next Door by Jenika Snow Read Free Book Online Page B

opened his eyes, and the force with which his stare speared her was like a lance to her heart.
    She must have looked like someone had slapped her, because he chuckled and kissed her on the tip of the nose. “We both love you, Sasha. Knowing that we wanted your love in return was something the two of us needed to work on. It didn’t seem like a reality, not when you’re Rian’s little sister. It wasn’t until tonight that I realized you do have the same bone-deep feelings for us.”
    “I…” Shaking her head because this was just too bizarre, she didn’t know how to respond.
    “I saw your reaction when you looked at Tanner for the first time in years tonight.”
    “ How do you know Tanner still feels the same for me, that he has the same emotions you do?” He glanced away, and that was all the confirmation she needed. Tanner had told him he took her virginity at her graduation party.
    “He told you.” It wasn’t a question, but more of a statement. He nodded and actually looked embarrassed over that fact.
    “Yeah, but it wasn’t because he was bragging or anything. He was scared and upset over what he did, and not just because your brother would have ripped his balls off if he found out.” He blew out a breath and let his head fall back against the seat. “When you left for college he beat himself up for a long time about that. He cared about you then, too, Sasha, loved you as much as I did.” All of these revelations made her head spin. “I can’t count the number of times both of us wanted to call you, or drive to Columbus to see you. Each and every time we talked each other out of it, telling ourselves that you were too good for us, and putting what we felt behind us. Tanner knew he fucked up all those years ago, and didn’t know how to make things right with you. It wasn’t a secret to us why you only came back Hayven Hill far less than anyone liked, and Tanner knew the way he had handled the situation with you was the cause of it. I just assumed you grouped me with him by association, and therefore you stayed away from me as well. It sucked, but I understand, we understand why you did what you did. We talked about you and the situation a lot after you left.” Jonas smoothed his hand down the side of her head and brought her close to his chest once again. “Tanner went downhill after that, so to speak. He got drunk a lot and started sleeping with random women.”
    She couldn’t hold back her wince.
    “Hey, sweetheart, I’m not telling you this to upset you or make Tanner look bad. I just want you to know why Tanner is now the way he is. I think he doesn’t see himself as being worthy any longer because for years he has told himself what a worthless asshole he was to you.”
    Sasha shook her head, stunned that Tanner had felt that way. Yes, she had been heartbroken, but never in a million years did she think Tanner felt that way about himself, or that Jonas was just as stricken with her absence as she was. “I would have given you my heart, both of you.” Knowing that all these years had been wasted on both sides angered her and also made her feel sorrow. “I wish you would have said something. Heck, I wish I would have come home and talked to the both of you.”
    “And we wish you would have said something, too.” He smiled at her and brushed his thumb along her bottom lip. She couldn’t argue with him, because the past four years had been all of her fault.
    “I’m sorry I avoided you guys and hid my feelings. I was scared, worried that Tanner thought what we did was a mistake. I shouldn’t have wasted all that time.” Bringing his other hand to the side of her face, he stared into her eyes.
    “No, Sasha, you shouldn’t, but no one is to blame, especially not when the past doesn’t matter anymore . You’re here now, and that is all that matters.” Bringing her close for a kiss, he whispered against her lips. “Let’s just focus on the future and the fact everything is out in