Beware the Ninja Weenies by David Lubar Read Free Book Online Page A

position at second base.
    The game went on.
    Gilbert made sure there was no chance of crashing when he dived for another line drive. This one wasn’t anywhere near as fast as the last one, but he missed it. He felt slow and sluggish.
    On his next turn at bat, when he hit a ball through the hole at third, he barely managed to reach first ahead of the throw. It wasn’t one of his better days.
    After the game, the walk home seemed to take forever. Gilbert paused across the street from his house. He lived on a busy road. Cars rushed by in both directions. There were breaks when he could cross, but Gilbert was afraid to try. He didn’t think he could make it. He waited.
    Finally, right after a red sports car whooshed past him, he saw there was nothing coming in either direction. Gilbert took a step.
    At least, that’s what he tried to do. His brain told his leg to step. But Gilbert couldn’t move.
    â€œI’m gummed up.” That’s what his brain told his mouth to say. But even his mouth wasn’t moving. He could breathe, and he could think, but everything else was gummed up and stuck.
    â€œGilbert, hey, wait for me.”
    The call came from his left. He couldn’t turn his head, or even move his eyes, but he recognized the voice. It was Damon. Gilbert could wait for him. That part was easy, since he really had no other choice.
    â€œWhat’s up?” Damon asked. The voice was close now. Right next to him.
    â€œI’m stuck.” Again, the words didn’t leave Gilbert’s brain.
    Damon walked into view. “Are you angry or something?” He leaned closer. “It wasn’t my fault we crashed into each other.”
    Gilbert couldn’t even blink. Damon’s face was so close, Gilbert could see the purple wad of gum he was chewing, and smell the faded grape aroma.
    â€œOkay, be like that,” Damon said. He plucked the gum from his mouth and stuck it on Gilbert’s nose.
    Gilbert’s angry shout remained in his head. Damon walked off. In another moment, he’d turned the corner and moved out of sight.
    â€œHey, look, a gum post. How convenient.”
    Right after Gilbert heard the voice, he saw a man walk over to him from across the street. The man reached in his own mouth, plucked out his gum, and stuck it on Gilbert’s forehead.
    â€œI’m not a gum post!” Gilbert tried to say.
    But the next three people who came along seemed to think otherwise. They also stuck their gum on Gilbert.
    This can’t last forever, he thought. Sooner or later the gum he’d swallowed had to get unstuck or digested or something.
    A little boy came into sight, walking next to his mother.
    â€œLook, Mommee! A gum post!” He plucked his gum out of his mouth and reached toward Gilbert’s leg.
    â€œNo, dear,” his mother said. “That’s very unsightly. And unsanitary. Think of all the germs that could infest it.” She snatched the gum from his hand.
    â€œThank you,” Gilbert tried to say. Finally, someone with common sense had come along. A tingle of hope twitched through his gummed-up stomach, though even the tingle moved at a slow pace. Maybe the woman would help him.
    â€œYou must dispose of the gum properly,” the woman said. She grabbed Gilbert’s jaw and pulled down. Then she flicked the gum into his open mouth. “See. That’s how these things are supposed to be used.”
    â€œYay!” the boy said. “This is fun. I’m bringing my gum here every day. And I’m telling all my friends.”
    They walked off. Gilbert stayed where he was, stuck in place.

 
    THE SNOW GLOBE
    I found the snow globe in a box in the attic. I guess it had been my grandfather’s, because the rest of the stuff in the box was his. The glass globe was about the size of a softball, but a lot heavier. There was a snowman inside. He looked kind of creepy. I liked that.
    I gave the globe a shake, but