Beware the Ninja Weenies by David Lubar Read Free Book Online

sound.
    â€œThey have such a hard time staying on task,” one alien said.
    â€œThat’s just because they’re so brilliant,” the other said. “I can’t imagine being that smart. It must be difficult.”
    â€œIt must.”
    â€œI’m glad we managed to get them to focus on our problem.”
    A moment later, the chipmunks dashed off the ship.
    â€œAll fixed,” one of them said.
    â€œMolybdenum would have made a better hull,” the other said.
    â€œConsider the malleability,” the first one said, and they were off, spewing more words, like a couple physicists trying to rap.
    I waved to get the aliens’ attention. “I’m pretty smart, too. I got a B-plus on my last math test. Can I see your ship?”
    They ignored me and went back through the hatch. I watched them leave. And then I tried to watch the chipmunks as they skittered and frolicked around my yard. But it just wasn’t the same anymore. Nothing was.

 
    STUCK UP
    â€œI got it!” Gilbert shouted as he hustled to his right to snag the line drive. It looked like a tough catch. He knew he’d have to leap if he wanted a chance to stop the ball.
    Around the field, he heard shouts and cheers. He also heard Damon yell, “I got it!” But the words didn’t sink in. Not right away. Definitely not in time to avoid a collision.
    Gilbert figured it all out as he tumbled to the ground after he and Damon crashed together beneath the hissing ball.
    For a moment, Gilbert sat where he’d landed, wondering whether he’d broken anything. He heard the distant smack of a ball into a glove. Someone had fielded the drive and thrown it to first.
    â€œYou okay?” Damon asked.
    Gilbert looked up at his friend, who had already gotten to his feet. “I think so.” As he spoke, he realized that something was different. He probed his mouth with his tongue. Not different—missing.
    â€œOh, no.…” Gilbert raised a hand to his lips.
    â€œWhat’s wrong?” Damon asked. “You chip a tooth?”
    â€œNo. I think I swallowed my gum.” Gilbert scanned the ground all around the spot where he’d landed, hoping to see a large wad of pink Mega-Chew Bubble Gum.
    There was no sign of it.
    He swallowed, trying to feel whether anything was stuck in his throat. It was hard to tell for sure.
    â€œReally?” Damon asked. “You gulped your gum?”
    â€œYeah.” Gilbert put a hand against his chest. “I wonder how far down it is.” He tried to sense the location of the gum. Was it in his stomach already?
    â€œOh, man,” Damon said. “It’s going to gum you up.”
    â€œNo, it won’t,” Gilbert said. But in his mind, he pictured a stomach full of gears and wheels clogged with gum. Big wads of pink gum stretched between the teeth of the gears. The parts tried to turn, but they couldn’t. Everything was clogged.
    â€œYes, it will,” Damon said. “I heard about a kid over in Falworth who swallowed his gum and they had to give him an operation.”
    â€œThat’s stupid,” Gilbert said. “If gum was that dangerous, they wouldn’t sell it to kids.”
    As Gilbert spoke, Terry Mackenzie went flying past the ball field on his skateboard. Across the park, Gilbert could see a kid trying to ride his bike while sitting backward on the seat. In a field on the other side of the road, a couple of kids were launching model rockets.
    â€œI don’t know,” Damon said. “We can buy all sorts of dangerous stuff.”
    Gilbert stood up. He moved slowly, still making sure he hadn’t been hurt. Everything seemed fine. But his stomach felt sort of tight, the way it got when he worried about something like a math test or a shot from the doctor.
    â€œAre you going to keep playing?” Damon asked.
    â€œYeah,” Gilbert said. “No reason not to.” He walked back to his