Bittersweet Hope by Ryann Jansen Read Free Book Online

two feelings I was not familiar with and did not like in the least, it seemed like a good way to ease my discomfort.
    I took one step toward the metal cooler before stopping. No. No no no no no. I would not be like her. I would never be like her. I’d made it this far without having to rely on that as a crutch, and I certainly wasn’t going to start now.
    Settling into a lawn chair, I decided to just watch. As I sat, surrounded by people who couldn’t care less about who I was, I noticed the smell of a thick, musty cologne wafting toward me from some unknown guy in the crowd. I wrinkled my nose, the hair on the back of my neck involuntarily standing up. I knew that smell. I just couldn’t remember how. Scanning the faces, nobody stood out as the least bit familiar. Hmmm. Maybe one of Mama’s johns used to wear it. In any case, I hoped it would go away soon. It was sort of making me feel sick.
    After about an hour of people watching, my eyes were growing heavy. I’d just closed them when the sound of a loud crash startled me, and I literally jumped out of the chair I was sitting in.
    Somebody, no doubt drunk out of his mind, had knocked the now empty keg of the table. As the guys around him started howling with laughter, I stood. Now seemed like a pretty good time to get out of here. I just wanted to find Caleb, and maybe get the keys to Anna’s car. I would like it better if I could just sit by myself until he was ready to go.
    As I made m y way through the throng of people, trying to get back inside so I could find the basement, something out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. A familiar figure, with a head full of hair the same chocolate color as mine, rushed past me. Sadie?
    I whipped ar ound, searching the room. I was almost positive I’d seen my sister. But now, as I looked through the sea of faces all around me, she wasn’t anywhere to be found. I wanted to call out her name, to see if she responded, but somebody might think I was crazy.
    Maybe I imagined it. I was still feeling sort of loopy from falling half asleep. Sadie wasn’t here. She couldn’t be.
    I took a deep breath and finished making my way through the house until finally finding the stairs to the basement. Caleb was there, right where he said he’d be, shooting pool with three other guys, and it appeared to be his turn. He noticed me immediately and raised his eyebrows. I nodded, knowing somehow that he was asking if I was ready to go.
    He slipped the pool stick through his fingers and it connected with the eight ball, knocking it into one of the corner pockets. One of the guys, who I could only assume was Caleb’s partner, stomped his foot.
    “What the hell, man?” He snapped. “We were winning!”
    Caleb lifted his broad shoulders in a n easy shrug. “Sorry.” A grin crossed his face, but I didn’t think anyone else saw it. “That’s it for me tonight, guys. I think I’m gonna head to the house.”
    His pool partner cursed under his breath and the other two guys nodded their good-byes to Caleb. He headed over to where I was standing.
    “You didn’t really have to leave.” I told him. “I was just going to get the keys and sit in the car until you were ready.”
    He shook his head. “Nah, it’s alright. Judd’s a crappy partner anyway.”
    “No good at pool?”
    “Sore loser.”
    “Oh.”
    Caleb smiled at me, and the blood running through my veins seemed to speed up and slow down at the same time.
    “Ready?” He asked.
    I nodded, thankful to be going home. Or to Anna’s. Or home. I didn’t know how to title it, but I was glad I was going back.
     

Chapter Six
     
    The next morning, I found Anna in her bedroom, using a pretty rose colored yarn to crochet what looked like a scarf. I tapped on her door, not really wanting to bother her. I couldn’t bear another moment going by without knowing how Sierra and Sadie were doing, though.
    “Hey, Anna? Can I call my sisters now?” I hadn’t been able to think about