Boy Meets Girl - Say Hello to Courtship by Joshua Harris Read Free Book Online Page B

fact, let's turn the three points we just looked at into questions to help you examine your own readiness to pursue marriage.
    Are you able to be patient? It's not wrong to desire marriage. But what would you say your greatest motive is for starting a relationship? Is it the confidence that you're ready for marriage and that God has brought someone godly into your life? Or is it impatience? Are you characterized by peace or anxiousness? Don't start until you can proceed patiently.
    Can you set a clear course for the relationship? I remember having a thirteen-year-old kid stop me at a conference. He was
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    holding his girlfriend's hand. "We stopped dating," he said proudly. "Now we're courting!" I smiled at his misguided concept of courtship. You can't have a purposeful relationship or set a clear course for it when marriage is so far off. The same guideline applies to a thirty-year-old who isn't really sure he wants to get married. If you're not willing for a relationship to succeed and progress to engagement and marriage in a reasonable period of time, you probably shouldn't be starting it.
    Are your emotions based in reality? As we saw earlier, our emotions are the result of value and perception. First, do you have the right values about relationships? Maybe you just became a Christian or are just beginning to obey God in this part of your life. Don't rush into a relationship too quickly Make sure you know what God says about what matters in a partner and what makes a marriage healthy. Second, how's your perception? Do you accurately see your own situation and the person you're interested in? Have you sought counsel from others? Have you taken the time to learn more about the other person's character? Don't follow your feelings until you've tested them.
    The right time and age to start pursuing marriage will be different for each of us. But the one thing we should all have in common is waiting until romance can be guided by wisdom. Then we can experience the season of courtship at the right time and the right pace with a clear purpose and a clear head. This is romance at it's best.
    The Rest of the Story
    Let me end this chapter with the conclusion of Rich and Christy's story A month after Rich buried their love letters, both he and Christy left home for colleges in different parts of the country They didn't say goodbye. They didn't write or call each
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    other. Because their schools had different schedules, they didn't see each other during the year. Those were difficult days. The love they felt for each other hadn't gone away.
    A year and a half after they'd broken up, Christy called her mom from school and told her that she was still struggling with her feelings for Rich. When her dad found out, he asked if she knew how Rich was doing. "How would I know?" Christy answered, the emotion in her voice thinly veiled. "I haven't talked to him since we broke up."
    Her dad was impressed. Rich had stuck to his word and broken off communication with Christy. Mike decided to intervene once more. A few months later, when Rich was home from college, Mike called him and asked him to come to his office.
    "I had no idea what he wanted to talk to me about," Rich says. "I thought I must be in trouble, but I couldn't imagine what I'd done."
    As it turned out, Rich wasn't in trouble. Mike wanted to meet with him to thank him for keeping his word. He also wanted to tell him that he felt it was an appropriate time for Rich and Christy to begin a courtship.
    Rich was floored. He told Mike that he needed time to pray about it. "Well, next week I have to go down to Richmond," Mike told him. "Why don't you drive me down, and we can talk about it then?"
    A week later Rich and Mike were on the road again. It was just like old times. And it was time for another talk.
    Rich had prayed hard that week about starting a relationship with Christy again. But as he sought God, he sensed Him saying that it still wasn't the right time for a courtship. "I