Broken Soldier: A Novel by Clara Frost Read Free Book Online

engine. Finally, at the very edge of exhaustion, he stepped off the treadmill and collapsed onto the mat beside it.

    “Whoah, buddy, you didn’t just stroke out on me, did you?” Paul asked. He was still loping along on the treadmill beside Rafa’s.
    “You are not rid of me yet.” Each word was practically a gasp as Rafa tried to catch his breath. He leaned back on the mat, stretching out his legs and trying to ignore the curtain of fire in his right knee.
    “Bro, you don’t look good.” Paul thumped down on the mat beside Rafa. “Oh man, that’s not right.”
    Rafa opened his eyes to see Paul looking at the red streaks around his right knee. “It’s just weakness... leaving...” Rafa sucked in a deep breath. “I’ll be fine.”
    “Bro, I know you’re big into that Ranger School ‘weakness leaving the body’ horseshit, but that’s only when you aren’t wounded.”
    “I’m not wounded. I’m crippled.”
    Paul touched the puckered flesh, sending a fresh knife through Rafa’s leg. Rafa grit his teeth, but kept himself from wincing.
    “That’s not right, bro. You need to see your orthopedist. They can help with that.”
    “I. Will. Be. Fine.”
    Paul matched Rafa’s scowl with one of his own. “You realize that there’s a paralympics, right? People run marathons, triathlons on amputated limbs. What you’re experiencing is abnormal, even for someone missing a leg.”
    Rafa closed his eyes, forcing the pain from his mind. He’d handled worse and with better grace.
    “So how are you and Emily doing?” Paul asked.
    You had to give him credit, he knew how to push a point, and then pull back just before he drew blood. It was part of what made Rafa keep up with him even as their careers had diverged. Where Paul had gone to college and law school, Rafa had gone to West Point and to war.
    “We’re still seeing each other. I feel like I’m always on the scale, though. Waiting for judgment.”
    Paul cocked an eyebrow. “From Emily?”
    “She somehow thinks she’s fat. It took me a while to realize it, but she has some kind of hangup about it. It’s weird.”
    “So tell her that you think she’s beautiful. Or highlight how nice her rack is.”
    Rafa looked up, appalled and mildly jealous that Paul had noticed Emily’s chest.
    Paul winked at him, then continued, “Christa says she used to be much bigger, and she’s never come to terms with her own body.”
    “It’s not just her body, though. We went jogging up in the trails last weekend and she kept taking breaks. She was doing it for me, and I know it’s because she sees me as frail. I can’t stand it.”
    “So the girl you’re seeing cares about you. How’s that a problem?”
    “She’s judging me, Paul. She sees my missing hand, my missing foot, and she thinks less of me for it. Thinks I’m not a whole man. I don’t want to be anyone’s pity project.”
    Paul settled down on the floor beside Rafa and started stretching his legs. “I can’t tell you what she thinks because I’m not a mind reader, but I can tell you what Christa tells me. Emily likes you. She doesn’t pity you--she worries about you. Look at yourself, man. Look how hard you push yourself.”
    “I am just trying to get back what was taken from me. A man has a right to dream, no?”
    “You know the difference between dreams and goals, right?”
    Rafa frowned.
    Paul continued, “A goal is something tangible, something you can work toward. A dream is just something nebulous, something that may or may not ever happen, no matter how hard you work. You can make it a goal to get out of the Army and find a good job. A dream is thinking you’re going to stay in the service and be chairman of the joint chiefs.”
    Rafa stewed over that in silence for a few minutes, doing some crunches to keep his heart rate up. Growing up, he’d wanted nothing more than to follow in his dad’s footsteps and serve his country. Even his mother had encouraged him to apply to West Point.