Bruises of the Heart by J. J. Nite Read Free Book Online

belonged there. It was infuriating."
    I looked at him and tried to judge his mood. He didn't look as angry as he had earlier, but his mood swings were beginning to give me a permanent knot in my stomach. I decided to nod at him.
    "Aren't you going to say anything? I said that I was sorry," he said, with a softer voice. "I really mean it. Please don't be mad at me. I'm not sure that I could take that."
    He reached across the space between us and stroked my cheek. I leaned into his palm against my better judgment. The voice in my head was screaming and I could barely hear any of my own thoughts — those I was able to form, that is. It felt like my brain had frozen and I was having trouble working through the cold.
    "I have to go, but I'll see you tomorrow. I love you, Victoria, more than you realize," he said, kissing me quickly.
    "I love you too," I said automatically.
    I got out of the car and went inside the cabin. I made it to my room and took my shirt off to see the red marks his fingers had made when they'd been wrapped around my arms. I started to shake and I had to sit down. I don't know how long I sat there, but I jumped to my feet when I heard my mom come through the front door.
    "Victoria! Are you here?"
    "Yeah, Mom, I'll be out in a minute."
    I flew to my feet and tried to get my shirt back on. I had never had so much trouble getting dressed before. I looked in the mirror one more time before I left my room to be sure my face wouldn't betray me.
    "There you are. How was your day?" Mom asked, smiling at me as she pulled things out of the refrigerator for dinner.
    "It was okay. Sorry I didn't start anything. The time got away from me, I guess," I said, feeling guilty.
    "Victoria," Mom said, turning to look me full in the face. "I've never minded fixing dinner. The fact that you took on the chore yourself has been nice, but there's no reason to apologize. Besides, I'm going to have to get used to doing this again. You'll be in college next year."
    I suddenly had an overwhelming feeling of homesickness. "Mom," I said, drawing it out into three syllables, "what are you going to do when I'm not here?"
    "Cause you're around so much now?" she asked sarcastically. "But seriously, I'll be fine. Your grandparents are at the house and there are things that I've been thinking of doing."
    We finished making the chicken and vegetable stir-fry in companionable silence then sat down to eat together. "What kinds of things are you thinking of doing?"
    "I've considered lots of different things, but realistically there are only a few," Mom answered.
    "Like…"
    "Painting or maybe photography … definitely something artistic. Who knows, maybe I'll become good enough to take a family portrait." She smiled.
    "Our family? Did you want blood spilled, or what?"
    "I'm sure that everyone would be able to remain civil for the picture. My mom has come a long way since you were born," she said.
    She was referring to the way her mother had treated her when she'd gotten pregnant and had me at sixteen. After a while the wounds, if not healed, were at least scabbed over and fading, but the relationship had always remained somewhat strained.
    "I think you should start dating." I laughed at her appalled expression. "You're only thirty-four, Mom. I know that you haven't dated anyone since dad died. If I'm the reason you never met anyone else, then now is your chance."
    "I think that you're operating under some misconceptions. I never dated anyone else not because of you, but because … I was just never ready," she said, pushing the rest of her dinner around on her plate.
    "Mom, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"
    "No, I guess we never really talked about this, did we?"
    I shook my head when she looked up from her plate. I'd never seen my mom so sad. Her eyes unfocused as if she was looking back on the time she'd had with my dad. She blinked and then refocused on my face and smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. I gave her a small one