house that she wasn’t allowed to go into. She had been here for over a month and in many ways it was like she was living with a stranger because he still wouldn’t answer her questions. Any time it seemed like she was getting him to talk, he seized up and changed the subject.
She felt bad waking him up because he was finally sleeping so soundly, but she wanted this ultrasound done already so he could be sure. She was hoping it would change things between them, that once he knew for sure he would relax. She gently touched his shoulder and he looked up at her with a sleepy smile that struck her. It was like she was seeing his face for the first time and there was a sadness to it that she realized had been there all along, but was always mingled with something else, something hard. His guard was down and he was too tired to realize that he hadn’t put his mask on. Reaching out to pull her into his body, he buried his face in her shoulder as she breathed in scent of his hair while she cradled him in her arms.
“It’s time to go see the baby, Adam.” She regretted the words even though they’d needed to be spoken. He stiffened in her arms and when he looked up, his eyes were still sleepy but he was wearing the mask again.
Saying nothing, he kissed her and quickly got out of bed to get dressed, throwing her a yellow sundress. When she was allowed to wear clothes, he always picked them out. They hurried to the doctor’s cabana and he threw open the door so roughly that a glass fell off of a shelf, crudely announcing their arrival.
Leah lie on the table with her legs spread as the doctor inserted the probe. Adam tapped his foot in anticipation while undecipherable images crept across the monitor. He leant forward, a look of confusion on his face while the doctor let out a sigh.
“It takes a few seconds to find the fet- the baby.” The doctor squinted her eyes and adjusted the probe. “At this point it is approximately the size of a blueberry.” At last she smiled and placed her finger on the screen. “Here. There it is.” Adam leaned even closer and grabbed Leah’s hand. “Do you see that little flicker?” He nodded. “That’s the heart beat.” His lips relaxed and began to turn upward as he started stroking Leah’s palm with his thumb. “Let me see if I can get a better angle. We might be able to hear it.”
She adjusted the probe as Leah leaned in to get a better look. She had been so concerned with Adam’s reaction that she hadn’t given herself any space to take in this moment. She was seeing her baby for the first time and she was glad that the doctor had waited. It was just a little blob on the screen, but all of the sudden the reality that she was going to be a mother settled upon her.
“There.” A strange pulsing sound started coming out of the machine and the doctor turned it up. Adam looked at Leah with a big smile on his face and she returned it. After listening for a few minutes, they ended the exam and he carried her into the house to make her breakfast. It wasn’t nearly as good as what the cook usually made, but it was such a sweet gesture she didn’t really care. She had forgotten to take her dress off when she came in the house, but he barely seemed to notice and didn’t bring it up.
After they were done eating, he came over to Leah and kissed her gently, running his fingers through her hair as his lips traveled down her neck. All of the sudden, tears began to well up in her eyes and she pulled away from him, running into the living room. He followed her, a look of bewilderment on his face that surprised her when she saw it because she was expecting rage.
“I’m really tired,” she lied. The tears were now overflowing her eyes as she made her way up the stairs, choked sobs echoing through the house.
“Leah?” She didn’t answer him so he followed her as she ran into the bedroom and flung herself on the bed. “Leah, what’s wrong?”
She couldn’t answer him, couldn’t