somewhere in the mix of fame.”
“You miss the daily grind?”
“I have that. I miss walking outside without a guard, or without cameras flashing in my face. I miss meeting people and knowing that what happens from there is purely based on how I get along with them, not on whether or not they think they need to suck up. Or whether or not I need a part in a movie.”
“It’s not the movies, but that still happens out here,” Dar reminded him.
“It’s the same, but it’s also not. There’s a lot of crap tied up with fame and wealth. There’s good, too. Before I started getting parts, I couldn’t pay my way through college and I certainly couldn’t take care of my mom. Now, I barely think it and my debts are gone. My mom’s debts are gone.”
“How does talking to me help you with all that?” Dar wondered.
Ryan thought for a minute. His gaze traced the angles of Dar’s face and skipped over the smattering of freckles. “You’re real.”
“What an odd thing to say.” Dar’s lips quirked into a bemused twist. “You don’t think you’re real?”
Ryan shook his head. “Not all the time. Mostly it feels like I’m looking at the world through a thin, white curtain.”
“Then I’d say that’s a choice you made. Choose differently.”
Ryan did laugh then. “God, you make it sound so simple.”
Dar shrugged, a quiet smile of his own playing about his lips. “It is.”
Ryan’s breath caught as he looked at that smile. Had that kiss been as amazing as he remembered, or had it been a fluke of having a secret Dar didn’t yet know? Was a coffee laced kiss the same as a Coke laced kiss?
“You never looked at the headshot did you?” Dar accused.
“Nope.”
“I didn’t think so. Those things you said on the phone about what I look like—you didn’t actually give me an opinion.”
“Saying what I think means I really have to trust you to keep our conversations between us,” Ryan wavered.
“I’m not telling anyone anything. I already know you like men. I knew it yesterday when you kissed me. There are just some things you can’t hide when they come up,” Dar said pointedly. He raised a brow as though he expected Ryan to object.
“I can’t be classified as bi in any stretch,” Ryan admitted. “You’re really attractive to me. I almost can’t classify everything I feel when I look at you, but it’s wrapped up in every conversation we have. It’s like I can’t imagine your face without remembering the phone calls.”
“That just means you aren’t shallow,” Dar teased. “That’s a good thing.”
“I’m new at this. I’ve had exactly one other relationship in my life and I can’t even tell anyone about it.”
“Okay, well, this is out of my comfort zone too, but—” Dar put his drink aside, then took Ryan’s and put it down, too.
Dar stepped up, his chest brushing Ryan’s and suddenly Ryan felt light-headed. He was pretty sure Dar was going to kiss him. When Dar rested his hand on Ryan’s chest, he was sure of it. God help him, all he could do was watch, notice every nuance of Dar’s face, the hold of his lips and jaw as they relaxed and Dar lifted his chin.
The hand slid to Ryan’s shoulder and Dar lightly pressed his parted lips to Ryan’s jaw.
“Just tell me if this is too much for you,” Dar murmured.
“Yeah. Right. I’ll do that.”
Dar’s quiet chuckle flipped Ryan’s insides and melted them into a warm, tingly pool. Ryan closed his eyes, lost to the sensation of Dar’s stroking mouth along his jaw, the hot subtle breath in his ear, the almost kisses lining the side of his neck.
Lips closed on the flesh beside his Adam’s apple, suckling and moist, but not strong enough that it would leave a mark.
“God, that feels incredible.” Ryan’s cock agreed, too, rising hard and thick.
Ryan swayed, then caught Dar’s hips in his hands to hold himself steady.
“When you kissed me yesterday, I was genuinely torn about what to think,” Dar shared.
“Why?”
“Because I