Charting the Unknown by Kim Petersen Read Free Book Online

with the planning (what a great idea) and decided to celebrate. We were both as fertile as Carla Tortelli on the sitcom “Cheers” and regardless of what the experts in my book determined as good timing, I got pregnant a week early.
    In the words of Celine Dion: “It's all coming back to me now.” The puking, the moaning, the hospital. My life was a bad rerun. The days ran together in a blur between the couch and the bathroom. I ended up in the hospital again for rehydration. Many long months later, I gave birth to a girl. We named her Bethany Joy. I was into nicknames and thought how much I liked the short form “Beth.” Perhaps she would be similar in nature to Louisa May Alcott's “Beth” in Little Women. If she turned out to be a tomboy instead, we could call her “BJ.” She was fair and lean, placid in the first days, like her sister.
    Mike, having managed to graduate from university just after Lauren's birth, was working as Project Manager at a construction company. In a mutual decision, we had decided I would remain at home with the kids for the first few years. We were up to our necks in life: kids, cars, house, a mortgage, job, meetings, and late nights. For several weeks I was seeing double. Two girls, two sets of dirty diapers, two diaper bags, two mouths to feed, two blankets, two pacifiers which were continuously lost, and two car seats. I rubbed my eyes to correct my vision but it didn't help. Just going to the grocery store required as much planning and gear as climbing K2. I fell into bed around 8 p.m. and occasionally slept through Bethany's cries in the night. Mike would shake me awake for the midnight feeding.

4
    By the time Bethany was six weeks old, I felt like was getting used to the whole routine. I went to the thrift store. I was excited because the next day was Halloween and I was looking forward to dressing the girls up in costumes. Walking the aisles, I came upon a bright yellow raincoat with a hood that had been made into a duck head and found yellow galoshes with orange duck feet to complete an outfit for Lauren. In the infant section, I found a pink bunny sleeper for Bethany with long ears and a white cottontail. Back at home we dressed with fanfare. It was a mild night and the streets were full. I watched my little duck waddle into the throng of tiny vampires, ghouls, and ghosts. We made our way up one side of the street and back down the other. It took longer than I anticipated as we stopped to talk with neighbors and Lauren played tag with a witch and a kid dressed up like a red crayon.
    When we returned home, we spread Lauren's candy out on the floor and took stock.
    â€œNot a bad haul for a little kid,” I said.
    â€œI'm not widdle anymore,” she said with knit brows.
    â€œTrue,” I lied. “Care to swap college tuition for a couple of Snickers bars?”
    I fed Bethany and laid her down. Lauren fell asleep on top of her candy mountain. Mike scooped her up, a Tootsie Roll sticking to her face, and put her to bed. Then the two of us curled up on the couch to watch a rented movie that happened to be about a couple trying to deal with the loss of their son. The wife couldn't let go and it ended their marriage. I was little irked at the storyline, as it was a downer and kind of wrecked the happy mood I had felt earlier after trick or treating.
    While climbing into bed afterward, I said to Mike, “I can understand her heartache. If anything ever happened to you or the girls you would have to put me in some kind of asylum. There is no way I could deal with it.”
    I snuggled up next to him and tried not to think about it. In the fog of a deep sleep, I heard Bethany's faint cries. We had recently moved her white crib from the end of our bed to the room directly across the hall from ours. Mike stirred.
    â€œI'll feed her a bottle,” he said huskily, sliding out of bed.
    â€œYou're the greatest,” I said and then was