Chasing Jane by Noelle Adams Read Free Book Online

time.”
    “I’ll try not to mess it up for you again.”
    “You didn’t mess it up. I mean, I don’t want you to get all
mean and cranky again, but it didn’t mess up the whole trip. I don’t have to be
happy every minute for it to be a really good trip.”
    Nate shoots me a quick look, and I can’t figure out what
he’s thinking. “Where did those words of wisdom come from?” he asks at last.
    I don’t know how he always seems to know when I’m
paraphrasing something from Rochester, but he does. “I might have read them in
a note from a friend this morning.”
    Nate groans. “Don’t tell me.”
    “Well, you’re the one who asked.”
    “He’s full of all kinds of crap, isn’t he?”
    “It’s not crap,” I say, feeling defensive. I haven’t thought
much about Rochester today at all, but that doesn’t mean I want Nate to insult
him. “He’s really…I don’t know…wise.”
    Nate groans again.
    “Don’t act like that,” I tell him. “He’s really kind and
thoughtful, and he has a beautiful way of thinking.”
    “A beautiful way of thinking?”
    I ignore the sarcasm. “He does. He’s written the most
beautiful things to me.”
    “Well, you need more than beautiful words for a relationship
to work.”
    “I know that. But he really seems to get me. I don’t think
it’s all talk.”
    “It seems like a lot of empty romantic babble to me.”
    “That’s not what it is. It’s not empty.”
    “How do you know? You don’t even know the man behind the
words.”
    “I do know him. I really think I know him. You don’t
understand.”
    “I guess not.” Nate has been looking at me as we talk, but
now he stares up at the ceiling. “But love is more than words, you know.”
    “I know it’s more than words. But words are nice sometimes,
you know.”
    “Sure they are. If they’re proven by actions. You don’t need
a guy who just talks pretty to you and conjures up romantic notions. You need a
guy who believes that you’re the most important thing in his world. You need a
guy who is always there when you need him. You need a guy who’s willing to
rearrange his entire life for you.”
    I stare at Nate in breathless astonishment. I’ve never heard
anything like this from him before. He’s usually so dry and clever. Almost
never earnest like this.
    And I like it. I like it a lot. It makes me feel full and
rich and confused and tangled up inside.
    He darts a quick look over to me, evidently feeling a little
self-conscious at his outburst. “Sorry,” he mumbles.
    “Don’t be sorry,” I say. “The truth is, I don’t think any
guy will ever be that way with me.” I sigh as I admit the truth to myself. “No
one but you.”
    I reach over to pick up his hand and hold it the way I
wanted to earlier.
    He tightens his hand around mine, and he suddenly feels full
of tension, like something is about to release inside him.
    I wonder what it is, and then I’m all breathless and
excited, waiting to find out, even though there’s no reason for me to think
that something important is going to happen.
    But then I remember that this is Nate. Nate . The boy
I used to see-saw with for hours as kids. The boy who helped me with my math
homework year after year, all the way up until College Algebra. The boy who has
always been the bedrock of my life.
    Him and my mother.
    I’ve lost my mother, and it was almost too much to take.
There’s no way I can lose Nate too by messing things up between us.
    I’m suddenly terrified—terrified by all of the horrible
possibilities—and I scramble out of the bed. “I need to take a shower,” I say,
trying to sound casual when Nate sits up, looking astonished and concerned.
“I’m sure I stink.”
    I’m in the bathroom and shutting the door when Nate replies
in a voice that sounds almost resigned, “You don’t stink.”

Four
     
    After we shower and rest, we take a
bus to Steventon, which isn’t far away and is the birthplace of Jane Austen. We
walk around