Choking Game by Yveta Germano Read Free Book Online

make if I exist or not? I don't have any stories. All I do every day is try not to be noticed at school, not to be the loser. If that's all there is, I might as well be dead. I can't get hurt if I'm dead."
    ~Please don't say that. It hurts me to hear you speak like that. I already told you how much I care about you. You're not invisible, and you're not unimportant. You do matter. Your existence matters to me.~
    "You're only saying it because if I die, you'll have to go too."
    ~That's not true. I always cared about you. What's wrong with wanting to stay and see what happens tomorrow? Don't you want to know what happens tomorrow?~
    "No. It's gonna be the same old crap."
    ~No wonder you're depressed. Do you hear yourself? You're stuck in some past moment of your life, and you closed yourself in it as if the world around never changed. I’ve got news for you, my friend. NOTHING, absolutely nothing is ever the same. The world around you is in constant motion. It's like you can never cross the same river twice. Once you cross, the water that washed your feet is gone. The next time you cross, your feet will splash in different water altogether.
    ~That's life. You cannot re-live the same moment. You, your life and everything in it changes the moment you live it. Your biggest mistake is that you chose to remain stuck in some moment or a feeling of your past experience and pretend nothing's ever changed. Why don't you just get out of the pressure cooker? You don't need to die to get out. It's your world, too. Can't you figure out a way to make it better for yourself? You have music, so why can't you go back and play? There's a lot that's good about being a teenager. You're not alone. Isn't there another Stanley somewhere waiting to find a new friend?~
    "I think most of us are scared to open the lid. My mom once cooked something in a pressure cooker and opened the lid too quickly. It exploded like a bomb."
    ~What are you scared of?~
    "Being alone. If I'm the only one who escapes the pressure cooker, then I'll be all alone. No one will care."
    ~And so you do what everyone else does until you have enough.~
    "Exactly."
    ~And now you think you’ve had enough.~
    "Exactly."

SIX
    Teenage Revenge @TeenageRevenge
I'd give anything to know if people who died can still hear and see us
    ~You wish. This is about Stanley again, isn't it?~
    "Of course. Who else?"
    ~Dude, do you see what I see? The last tweet got over ninety retweets. Now we have over fifteen hundred followers! This is crazy. The more depressing your tweets, the more followers you get! What is this world coming to? Ugh. I'm not sure I should hashtag this one.~
    "Why not? Are you worried we'll get a bunch of desperate suicidal weirdos retweeting us?"
    Teenage Revenge @TeenageRevenge
I'd give anything to know if people who died can still hear and see us #ghosts #LifeAfterDeath #TeenSuicide #GhostBusters #RT #follow
    ~I tweeted it. I hope it wasn't a mistake. Tell me, if you knew Stanley could hear you from wherever he is, what would you say to him?~
    "That I miss him more than anything in this world. That I hate it he missed the past fourteen months. That I wish I told him how much his friendship meant to me. That I was going to I tell him he was the best guy that ever lived. That... Ahhh..."
    ~Looks like you still haven't cried enough. You see? You have so many tears left in you for Stanley, and you wanted to check out without giving them all to him? Let's pretend he can hear you now. Or better yet, let's believe he does. Tell him.~
    "Tell him what?"
    ~Everything you wish you told him when he was alive.~
    "That's stupid."
    ~No, it's not. How can it be stupid if you believe he can hear you?~
    "I never said I believed it."
    ~I do. And since I'm as much a part of your being as your stubborn mind is, part of you has to believe it, too. Just try it. Talk to him. It'll be good for you, promise.~
    "I have to lock my door."
    ~Why?~
    "I don't want anyone else in my room."
    ~I think you