Coco Pinchard's Big Fat Tipsy Wedding: A Funny Feel-Good Romantic Comedy by Robert Bryndza Read Free Book Online Page B

Chris, staring blankly at a pile of Christmas Pannetone. 'No plans.'  
    'How did Macbeth go?' I said.
    'It went by without a blip on the radar. No reviews, no press, nothing…'
    'And Julian?'
    'He’s moved out. I miss seeing our iPods, side by side on their little docks,’ he said.
    'I’ve still kept Adam’s toothbrush, I can’t bring myself to throw it away.’ Just then Lonely This Christmas began to play in the coffee shop.
      ‘Look, why don’t we spent Christmas together?’ I said. ‘We always talk about, but we’ve never done it.’  
    'That’s another sad story,' he said. 'I got drunk the other night and had a blackout. When I woke up I found an email confirmation. I’d booked Christmas in an ice hotel in Lapland.'   I asked him why he would book an ice hotel, as we both know he loathes the cold.
    'I vaguely remember sitting on the remote, and the Pingu DVD I have for when my niece comes round started playing.'
    'So you fancied spending Christmas with a little plasticine Penguin?’ I said.  
    'It’s not funny. They've already debited six grand out of my bank account.'
    'Six grand!'
    'Of course, me being an idiot, I booked the penthouse.’  
    Rocco woke up and sneezed loudly. I lifted the blanket and he was lying on his back, four paws in the air. He shook himself, rolled over onto his front, and tugged at my sleeve with his teeth.
    'He needs feeding,' I said and opened a couple of the little milks. 'It takes him a few times to latch onto the carton.’  
    'Oh my God,' said Chris. 'My life is flashing before my eyes. This same cafe, twenty years ago, you feeding Rosencrantz; although back then the milk was in different packaging.'
    'I remember,' I said wistfully. ‘Back then I was a natural blond, Amazon was a rainforest, and google was the noise a baby made…’
    ‘And here you are with another baby, of sorts. You've moved on with your life but I'm just as rudderless as I was then.’  
    ‘You’re not rudderless Chris,’ I said.
      ‘Sorry Cokes, I’m gonna go,’ he said. ‘I told Rosencrantz I’d pop in to see him at Abercrombie and Fitch, he’s going to let me use his staff discount to buy my Christmas presents. My mother wants a new baseball cap, for when she goes shooting.’
    ‘I’m always here for you Chris,’ I said. He gave me a hug. ‘Tell Rosencrantz I’ll be in to see him as soon as Rocco is on solid food.’  
    He rolled his eyes and went off into the snow. I sipped my £4.75 latte and caught sight of one of the Baristas behind the counter looking at me. He was dark, well built, and rather handsome. He winked. I looked round but saw he was winking at me! Just then Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree started playing and the lights on the huge Christmas tree switched on. The cafe looked beautiful with the snow falling softly outside.
    I am totally unprepared for Christmas. Do you have a tree yet? Have you bought cards? What about decorations? Clothes to wear? Where are you going for Christmas? And what do you want? I can’t think of anything, but I can't just ask people for cigarettes again. Chris did bring round an advent calendar this morning, and I had the fleeting pleasure of opening six doors at once.  

    Tuesday 7th December   09.19
    TO: [email protected]

    I spent ages last night stuffing empty mini milk cartons with titbits of dog food, meat and peanut butter. They were like doggy canapés when I’d finished, but Rocco saw through my attempts to dupe him and barked for milk. He woke me at four, five, and six this morning, there was none left in the house so I had to put him in his little wicker basket full of towels and make a trip back to Insomnia Cafe. It was one of the only places with the lights on so early. The handsome Barista who winked at me was working, and on closer inspection I decided to upgrade his description to gorgeous . He smiled the cutest dimples and asked what I wanted.
    ‘A latte please,’ I said. Rocco poked his nose out