Coco Pinchard's Big Fat Tipsy Wedding: A Funny Feel-Good Romantic Comedy by Robert Bryndza Read Free Book Online

about Adam standing at the top of the stairs in his red tracksuit. I started climbing towards him, but halfway up, the stairs turned into an escalator going the wrong way and as fast as I ran, I couldn’t reach him.
    I woke at five bathed in sweat. I couldn’t face staying in bed, so I came down to make a cup of tea. I flicked the radio on and heard that this is the coldest start to December in twenty years. As it got light, snow began to fall, swirling around lazily before settling on the ground. It carried on snowing and soon the grey streets were transformed. At half nine there was a knock at the front door. Through the peephole, I could make out Rosencrantz with Wayne and Oscar, all rugged up with the snow whirling around them. I quickly opened the door and pulled them inside.  
    ‘It’s like London is shut down. There’s no people about, no trains or buses running,’ said Rosencrantz excitedly.
    ‘How did you get here?’ I said.
    ‘A dodgy mini-cab, with a driver who was willing to risk it.’ I took them through to the kitchen. They were all grinning oddly.
    'It’s a nice gaff you’ve got Mrs. P,' said Oscar unzipping his jacket.
    ‘It’s elegant, homely,’ said Wayne unwinding his scarf theatrically. ‘Is the kitchen Ikea? Klöepenklund? Flöngenfart? Skänka?’
    ‘Um, I don’t remember,’ I said. ‘Rosencrantz picked it out for us when he was thirteen.’
    ‘It’s a Conran kitchen,’ said Rosencrantz. ‘And the grooves on the draining board were cut with a laser.’
    ‘That’s really cool,’ said Oscar. I didn’t understand why they’d trekked across London in the snow to admire the kitchen, and Rosencrantz was still rugged up in his huge winter coat.
    ‘Have you had any breakfast?’ I said. They all shook their heads, smirking.
    ‘Why not put the kettle on mum,’ said Rosencrantz knowingly. I turned to fill the kettle and when I turned back, there was a tiny Maltese puppy sitting on the kitchen island.  
    ‘Do you like him Mum? I had him in my coat,’ said Rosencrantz.  
    ‘What are you doing getting a dog?' I said. 'Do you know how much work a dog is? And you’ve just gone and got a job!'  
    'He's for you,' said Rosencrantz. 'So you won't be lonely.' The little dog stared up at me with eager little eyes and a tiny black button nose. I opened my mouth to say, I can't have a dog, I haven't got time ! But, I have got time. Too much time.  
    The boys were watching curiously, much like they do when a new animal is introduced into a cage at the zoo. I reached out and the little white pup licked me, and then put his tiny furry paw in my hand. I gently scooped him up. He was so soft and beautiful and he snuggled into the crook of my arm. I started to well up.
    ‘Don’t you want him?’ said Rosencrantz anxiously.  
    ‘Yes, he’s perfect,’ I said. ‘I’m just… I haven’t slept much.’ Wayne pulled a lace hanky from his bag and handed it over, Oscar patted my shoulder.
    The puppy stood up in my arms with his front legs on my chest and licked my tears with a tiny pink tongue.
    'He's so cute!' said Oscar ruffling his little mop of silky fur.
    'He's a matinee idol!' declared Wayne clasping his hand to an imaginary décolletage.  
    ‘He’s a pedigree,’ said Rosencrantz. ‘His parents are show dogs… Oscar’s Mum is a breeder.’
    ‘We all chipped in,’ said Oscar.  
    ‘Thank you boys,’ I grinned. ‘I never dreamed I’d get a dog… What should I call him?'
    ‘We thought you could call him Rocco,' said Wayne.
    ‘In tribute to Rocco Ritchie,’ said Oscar.
    ‘Madonna’s son,’ added Rosencrantz.
    'Hello Rocco,' I said. Rocco sneezed in approval, gave me another lick and I put him on the floor. I made the boys tea and toast, and we spent a happy hour watching Rocco sniff and explore the kitchen. Then they said they would leave me to bond with him.
    ‘We’re going to have a walk through St. James Park and take some snowy photos,’ said Wayne pulling a