Company by Max Barry Read Free Book Online

looking out for you. Seriously, our courses are terrible. They're the same basic teamwork lesson packaged under different names.”
    “I didn't order anything about teamwork. I ordered Managing C++ Programmers in Time-Sensitive Projects.”
    “That's the teamwork course! They're all the teamwork course!”
    “Maybe I should order more courses, if they're filling up so fast. Do you have something on workflow best practice for small groups?”
    Freddy freezes. Then he stabs the TALK button.
    Jones blinks. “Did you just hang up on that guy?”
    “This is more difficult than I thought.”
    “Hey,” Holly says, from her desk. “Check the printer behind you. List of accounts.”
    “Maybe this is why I'm not a sales rep,” Freddy says. He chews his lip. “Could we just cancel orders and not tell anyone, do you think?”
    “I doubt it,” Holly says. “I bet there are checks. Balances, too.”
    Jones retrieves his printout. He holds it up for Holly. “Is this it?”
    “Yep.”
    “But this can't be right.”
    “What's the matter?”
    “These are my customers?”

    Infrastructure Management—Building
    Infrastructure Management—Fleet
    Infrastructure Management—Interiors
    Infrastructure Management—Acquisitions
    Infrastructure Management—Fire and
Emergency
    Marketing—Corporate
    Marketing—Branding
    Marketing—Public Relations
    Marketing—Internal
    Marketing—Direct
    Marketing—Operations
    Marketing—Research
    Infrastructure Maintenance—Control
    Infrastructure Maintenance—Acquisitions
    Infrastructure Maintenance—Clean Teams
    Infrastructure Maintenance—Reporting
    Infrastructure Maintenance—Softs
    Infrastructure Maintenance—Climate Control
    Infrastructure Maintenance—Large

    It continues for another three pages. Holly says, “What's the problem?”
    “They're internal departments.”
    “So?”
    “You're telling me we sell training packages to
other Zephyr departments
?”
    “You didn't know that?”
    “No! I thought our customers were other companies!”
    Holly and Freddy start laughing. Freddy says, “That's so funny.”
    “That's how Zephyr works,” Holly says. “Infrastructure Management bills our department for parking and office space. Fleet bills us for company cars. We bill other departments for training. Well, actually, Training Delivery bills them. We just take a commission.”
    “It's all about efficiently allocating costs,” Freddy says. “Or something.”
    “But I thought Zephyr was a training company. I thought that's what we did. What do we do, then?”
    Holly says, “You mean, like, overall?”
    “Yes!”
    She shrugs. Jones stares. She crosses her arms defensively. “I know what our department does. But Zephyr's a big company.”
    Jones looks at Freddy. “Don't ask me. The company does a lot of things, Jones.”
    “Which of them involves selling things to people who don't work in this building?”
    Freddy scratches his chin. Holly says, “I'm sure there's
something
.”
    Jones feels faint. He is realizing that he took a job at a company without knowing what it does.
    Freddy says, “I know who our main competitor is, if that helps. Assiduous. Assiduous is always hiring our ex-employees.”
    Holly lets out a short, disgusted snort. “Traitors.”
    Jones has never heard of Assiduous. “What does it do?”
    Holly and Freddy look at each other.
    “Oh, come on.”
    “Well, you can't go around asking questions about Assiduous,” Freddy says. “How would that look? Besides, when someone joins Assiduous, they're the enemy. You can't call them up and ask how they're doing. You have to protect company secrets.”
    “What secrets? You guys don't know anything!”
    “Remember Jim?” Holly says to Freddy. “I was sad when he left. I would have liked to have kept in touch with him.”
    Jones's phone rings. He reaches over Freddy's shoulder for his handset, but Freddy beats him and pushes SPEAKER . Jones says, “Hello?”
    “Hi. I've heard there's something of a