Complete Works, Volume I by Harold Pinter Read Free Book Online Page B

They stand on each side of the chair. )
    When did you last wash up a cup?
    STANLEY . The Christmas before last.
    GOLDBERG . Where?
    STANLEY . Lyons Corner House.
    GOLDBERG . Which one?
    STANLEY . Marble Arch.
    GOLDBERG . Where was your wife?
    STANLEY . In—
    GOLDBERG . Answer.
    STANLEY ( turning, crouched ). What wife?
    GOLDBERG . What have you done with your wife?
    MCCANN . He's killed his wife!
    GOLDBERG . Why did you kill your wife?
    STANLEY ( sitting, his back to the audience ). What wife?
    MCCANN . How did he kill her?
    GOLDBERG . How did you kill her?
    MCCANN . You throttled her.
    GOLDBERG . With arsenic.
    MCCANN . There's your man!
    GOLDBERG . Where's your old mum?
    STANLEY . In the sanatorium.
    MCCANN . Yes!
    GOLDBERG . Why did you never get married?
    MCCANN . She was waiting at the porch.
    GOLDBERG . You skeddadled from the wedding.
    MCCANN . He left her in the lurch.
    GOLDBERG . You left her in the pudding club.
    MCCANN . She was waiting at the church.
    GOLDBERG . Webber! Why did you change your name?
    STANLEY . I forgot the other one.
    GOLDBERG . What's your name now?
    STANLEY . Joe Soap.
    GOLDBERG . You stink of sin.
    MCCANN . I can smell it.
    GOLDBERG . Do you recognise an external force?
    STANLEY . What?
    GOLDBERG . Do you recognise an external force?
    MCCANN . That's the question!
    GOLDBERG . Do you recognise an external force, responsible for you, suffering for you?
    STANLEY . It's late.
    GOLDBERG . Late! Late enough! When did you last pray?
    MCCANN . He's sweating!
    GOLDBERG . When did you last pray?
    MCCANN . He's sweating!
    GOLDBERG . Is the number 846 possible or necessary?
    STANLEY . Neither.
    GOLDBERG . Wrong! Is the number 846 possible or necessary?
    STANLEY . Both.
    GOLDBERG . Wrong! It's necessary but not possible.
    STANLEY . Both.
    GOLDBERG . Wrong! Why do you think the number 846 is necessarily possible?
    STANLEY . Must be.
    GOLDBERG . Wrong! It's only necessarily necessary! We admit possibility only after we grant necessity. It is possible because necessary but by no means necessary through possibility. The possibility can only be assumed after the proof of necessity.
    MCCANN . Right!
    GOLDBERG . Right? Of course right! We're right and you're wrong, Webber, all along the line.
    MCCANN . All along the line!
    GOLDBERG . Where is your lechery leading you?
    MCCANN . You'll pay for this.
    GOLDBERG . You stuff yourself with dry toast.
    MCCANN . You contaminate womankind.
    GOLDBERG . Why don't you pay the rent?
    MCCANN . Mother defiler!
    GOLDBERG . Why do you pick your nose?
    MCCANN . I demand justice!
    GOLDBERG . What's your trade?
    MCCANN . What about Ireland?
    GOLDBERG . What's your trade?
    STANLEY . I play the piano.
    GOLDBERG . How many fingers do you use?
    STANLEY . No hands!
    GOLDBERG . No society would touch you. Not even a building society.
    MCCANN . You're a traitor to the cloth.
    GOLDBERG . What do you use for pyjamas?
    STANLEY . Nothing.
    GOLDBERG . You verminate the sheet of your birth.
    MCCANN . What about the Albigensenist heresy?
    GOLDBERG . Who watered the wicket in Melbourne?
    MCCANN . What about the blessed Oliver Plunkett?
    GOLDBERG . Speak up, Webber. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    STANLEY . He wanted to—he wanted to—he wanted to. . . .
    MCCANN . He doesn't know!
    GOLDBERG . Why did the chicken cross the road?
    STANLEY . He wanted to—he wanted to. . . .
    GOLDBERG . Why did the chicken cross the road?
    STANLEY . He wanted. . . .
    MCCANN . He doesn't know. He doesn't know which came first!
    GOLDBERG . Which came first?
    MCCANN . Chicken? Egg? Which came first?
    GOLDBERG and MCCANN . Which came first? Which came first? Which came first?
    STANLEY screams.
    GOLDBERG . He doesn't know. Do you know your own face?
    MCCANN . Wake him up. Stick a needle in his eye.
    GOLDBERG . You're a plague, Webber. You're an overthrow.
    MCCANN . You're what's left!
    GOLDBERG . But we've got the answer to you. We can sterilise you.
    MCCANN . What about Drogheda?
    GOLDBERG . Your bite is dead. Only