Complete Works, Volume I by Harold Pinter Read Free Book Online

the meaning of respect. So I'd give her a peck and I'd bowl back home. Humming away I'd be, past the children's playground. I'd tip my hat to the toddlers, I'd give a helping hand to a couple of stray dogs, everything came natural. I can see it like yesterday. The sun falling behind the dog stadium. Ah! ( He leans back contentedly. )
    MCCANN . Like behind the town hall.
    GOLDBERG . What town hall?
    MCCANN . In Carrikmacross.
    GOLDBERG . There's no comparison. Up the street, into my gate, inside the door, home. “Simey!” my old mum used to shout, “quick before it gets cold.” And there on the table what would I see? The nicest piece of gefilte fish you could wish to find on a plate.
    MCCANN . I thought your name was Nat.
    GOLDBERG . She called me Simey.
    PETEY . Yes, we all remember our childhood.
    GOLDBERG . Too true. Eh, Mr Webber, what do you say? Childhood. Hot water bottles. Hot milk. Pancakes. Soap suds. What a life.
    Pause.
    PETEY ( rising from the table ). Well, I'll have to be off.
    GOLDBERG . Off?
    PETEY . It's my chess night.
    GOLDBERG . You're not staying for the party?
    PETEY . No, I'm sorry, Stan. I didn't know about it till just now. And we've got a game on. I'll try and get back early.
    GOLDBERG . We'll save some drink for you, all right? Oh, that reminds me. You'd better go and collect the bottles.
    MCCANN . Now?
    GOLDBERG . Of course, now. Time's getting on. Round the corner, remember? Mention my name.
    PETEY . I'm coming your way.
    GOLDBERG . Beat him quick and come back, Mr Boles.
    PETEY . Do my best. See you later, Stan.
    PETEY and MCCANN go out, left. STANLEY moves to the centre.
    GOLDBERG . A warm night.
    STANLEY ( turning ). Don't mess me about!
    GOLDBERG . I beg your pardon?
    STANLEY ( moving downstage ). I'm afraid there's been a mistake. We're booked out. Your room is taken. Mrs Boles forgot to tell you. You'll have to find somewhere else.
    GOLDBERG . Are you the manager here?
    STANLEY . That's right.
    GOLDBERG . Is it a good game?
    STANLEY . I run the house. I'm afraid you and your friend will have to find other accommodation.
    GOLDBERG ( rising ). Oh, I forgot, I must congratulate you on your birthday. ( Offering his hand. ) Congratulations.
    STANLEY ( ignoring hand ). Perhaps you're deaf.
    GOLDBERG . No, what makes you think that? As a matter of fact, every single one of my senses is at its peak. Not bad going, eh? For a man past fifty. But a birthday, I always feel,is a great occasion, taken too much for granted these days. What a thing to celebrate—birth! Like getting up in the morning. Marvellous! Some people don't like the idea of getting up in the morning. I've heard them. Getting up in the morning, they say, what is it? Your skin's crabby, you need a shave, your eyes are full of muck, your mouth is like a boghouse, the palms of your hands are full of sweat, your nose is clogged up, your feet stink, what are you but a corpse waiting to be washed? Whenever I hear that point of view I feel cheerful. Because I know what it is to wake up with the sun shining, to the sound of the lawnmower, all the little birds, the smell of the grass, church bells, tomato juice—
    STANLEY . Get out.
    Enter MCCANN , with bottles.
    Get that drink out. These are unlicensed premises.
    GOLDBERG . You're in a terrible humour today, Mr Webber. And on your birthday too, with the good lady getting her strength up to give you a party.
    MCCANN puts the bottles on the sideboard.
    STANLEY . I told you to get those bottles out.
    GOLDBERG . Mr Webber, sit down a minute.
    STANLEY . Let me—just make this clear. You don't bother me. To me, you're nothing but a dirty joke. But I have a responsibility towards the people in this house. They've been down here too long. They've lost their sense of smell. I haven't. And nobody's going to take advantage of them while I'm here. ( A little less forceful. ) Anyway, this house isn't your cup of tea. There's nothing here for you, from any angle, any angle. So why don't you just go,