Confessions Of A Karaoke Queen by Ella Kingsley Read Free Book Online Page A

all angles,coloured coral-pink – it could be, for all I can tell. As soon as I see the words ‘Singapore Sing’ I know we’re in deep trouble.
    ‘Wonderful, aren’t they?’ crows Ruby. Archie looks pleased.
    ‘Obviously these are just rough,’ Jaz cuts in. ‘I was thinking we could design a billboard, put it up outside, all lit up. Y’know, make a feature of it.’
    Ruby nods happily. ‘And you should see what Simon’s put together for the playlists …’
    I zone out, letting their proposals wash over me like a great big wave of doom. Andre is looking at me. The guinea pig knows the score. He can see the guilt in my eyes.
    And then, in a moment of utter clarity, the first I’ve had in days, Andre scratches his miniature socks on the table and shuffles backwards, his bare bum wiggling. Crouching over the papers, never once taking his eyes from mine, he does a neat little poo right in the middle of the plans. That’s it – I’ve got to come clean.
    ‘We can’t afford it, guys.’
    The three of them turn to look at me. There’s this awful silence I have to fill, so I jabber on. ‘I thought I could raise the cash, but it turns out I can’t. It’s going to be much more expensive than I thought. I’m sorry. Really.’ I bow my head. ‘The plan’s off.’
    For a minute nobody says anything. Jaz throws her pen down and darts up from the table, rushing past me. I can’t blame her – I’d probably be pissed off at me as well.
    Ruby gets up and puts an arm round me. ‘Oh, sweetie. It doesn’t matter …’
    A copy of
Spotlight
magazine – the weekly West End theatre journal to which Jaz subscribes – is thrust under mynose. ‘I wasn’t going to show you this,’ she says, breathless, ‘but whatever. If we need help, this might be our only chance.’
    I frown. Jaz has circled an ad in the classified section in thick red pen.
    ‘What is this?’ I ask. Archie and Ruby come to peer over my shoulder.
    Jaz can barely contain her excitement. ‘Just read it!’
    I take a deep breath and scan the words:
     
ATTENTION ALL LONDON BARS
AND CLUBS!!!
    A RE YOU STRUGGLING TO MAKE ENDS MEET ?
D O YOU WISH THERE WAS A FAST, EASY WAY
TO MAKE MONEY AND GET BACK ON TOP ?
    I look up at Jaz. ‘Yes,’ I say.
    She nods frantically. ‘Read on! Read on!’
    T OOTH & N AIL TV IS LOOKING FOR THE UK’ S
NEXT BIG REALITY TV SENSATION .
    D ON’T ATTRACT HUNDREDS AT THE WEEKEND –
ATTRACT MILLIONS.
    D ON’T DELAY . C ALL 020 078910
     
    There’s a brief pause while everyone digests this. It’s the sort of high-strung, energised pause you get in films before something major is about to happen. Everyone’s eyes are on me.
    ‘Reality TV?’ I look at Archie, then at Ruby, then at Jaz.
    ‘Whatever that means,’ says Archie, grabbing the magand inspecting it. Seconds later Ruby whips it from him, only to have it snatched off her by Jaz. Then it’s thrust back at me.
    ‘So?’ says Jaz excitedly. ‘What do you think?’
    I read the ad again, then once more. I’m not sure what I think.
    Three pairs of eyes are gazing at me: expectant, waiting, full of hope. What I do know is I can’t let them down.
    ‘I think it’s worth a shot,’ I say, beaming. ‘What have we got to lose?’



Money Money Money
     
    The sun is shining as I make my way down Bond Street on Monday morning, feeling like Melanie Griffiths in
Working Girl
. I’m wearing a black pencil skirt and a pretty sleeveless top, hopefully striking a balance between I Mean Business and Please Don’t Ask Me Too Many Questions About Capital Pools. I even dared to raid Mum’s jewellery box this morning and found a really cute vintage brooch.
    Outside the tube station I double-check the address Evan Bergman’s assistant gave me over the phone. Crossing the road, I head down an alley past a health food store.
    A gentle breeze is blowing and it feels like summer: Ihope this is a friendly omen – to be honest I’m not quite sure what possessed me to do this.