Critical Failures II (Caverns and Creatures Book 2) by Robert Bevan Read Free Book Online

our attacks on the wizard first. Try not to take it personally, Scott.”
    The elf took his defensive position behind the half-orc once again. The half-orc made a token show of bravado, stepping up into Tony the Elf’s face, but backed off easily enough when the elf tugged at his arm. “Let’s go,” said the elf. “Let the fags get back to jerking each other off.”
    “This isn’t over, Tony,” said the half-orc. “I’m telling Mordred about this.”
    They sulked off down the street. The half orc stepped on the dog’s tail as he passed. The poor thing didn’t even have the strength to yelp.
    Jorn started after them, but Dave was able to keep her back with his hand on her shoulder.
    “Just let them go,” said Dave.
    “What a couple of dicks,” said Tim once they were far enough away.
    “They’re kids,” said Tony the Elf.
    “They’re what?” said Tim.
    “Mordred ran a game for a group of middle schoolers,” Tony explained. “They weren’t sent here because they offended him. Just the opposite. They thought he was the best thing ever. They stroked his ego so hard that he decided to give them a gift.”
    “That’s so fucked up.”
    “It’s worse than that. They don’t seem to have a fully developed sense of… well, you just saw for yourself. They’ll kick dogs in the street for fun and do whatever they want with the locals. None of us had it in us to stop them when we could, and now there’s not much we can do but stay out of their way.”
    “You wouldn’t have to kill them,” said Tim. “Maybe all they need is a good beat down to put them in their place.”
    Tony the Elf laughed. “And who do you propose is going to do that?”
    “We could have done that just now.”
    “They would have slaughtered us.”
    “But you said –”
    “I was bullshitting. Eric could have cut us all in half with one swing on a halfway decent roll.”
    “Fuck.”
    “You think it’s bad now,” said Tony the Elf. “Just wait until they figure out that Mordred isn’t around anymore. They’ll be looking for answers. Your group would do well to lay low.”
    “Our group is terrible at that,” said Dave.
    “Your confusing chatter pains my ears,” said Jorn. “What can be done for that poor dog?”
    The four of them approached the animal. It looked to have three paws in the grave. The only signs it gave that it hadn’t crossed over already were a spasm every now and again and some labored, shallow breathing.
    “I don’t think there’s much we can do,” said Tim. He pulled back a bolt on his crossbow until it clicked. “I can make it quick and easy at least.” He looked to Tony the Elf, who nodded his solemn approval.
    “Nonsense,” said Dave. “I can fix this.” He knelt down next to the dog.
    “No!” said Tony the Elf. “Stop!”
    “I heal thee,” said Dave, stroking the matted fur on the dog’s head. “How’s that feel, little guy?”
    “Oh no,” said Tony the Elf. “What have you done?” The distress in his voice seemed disproportional to whatever ill effects healing a stray dog might have.
    The dog shivered and convulsed like a vibrating shag pillow. It let out a sharp bark and rose to its feet. Shaking its fur dry, it speckled Tim, Dave, and Jorn with black, liquid street filth. Tony the Elf was spared the worst of it, as he was slowly backing away. It was as if Dave had just opened a portal to Hell.
    If this dog had eyes, it was a miracle that it could see through the curtain of hair that hung over them. It sniffed the air, barked loudly, wagged its knobby tail, and looked right at the still-retreating Tony the Elf.
    “Shit,” said Tony. He stopped backing away, the panic on his face replaced with helpless resignation.
    The dog bolted toward Tony the Elf like he was made out of bacon. Tim raised his crossbow to fire.
    Tony the Elf’s eyes went wide. “No!” He tore one of the machetes off of his back and hurled it at Tim. Thankfully, it only managed to fuck up his weapon