Cumulus by Eliot Peper Read Free Book Online Page A

possibility. Tendrils of ice wove fractal patterns around her heart. She clenched her fists.
    “Is there someone else?” She stared daggers at the woman she had been trying to seduce only moments before. “That’s what this is about, isn’t it?”
    Vera sighed and her shoulders slumped. Then she pressed a fist into her forehead. “I’m not even going to dignify that with a response,” she said. “I can’t believe you’d think such a thing. Look, Huian, remember our summer in Thailand?”
    They had met at Stanford and had orchestrated a joint study abroad in Thailand, where they spent most of their time skiving off to skinny-dip in tropical waters and make sweaty love under mosquito nets. Huian nodded. “Of course I do.”
    “I fell in love with you that summer. I remember lying on the beach, looking up at the stars, and listening to you describe the way the world should be, the way the world would be. It was magical, prescient even. I’ve never stopped admiring your ability to not take the world as it is, to see the universe as an impermanent, malleable thing. You wrapped me up in the beauty and inevitability of it all.”
    Vera straightened up with visible effort. “But that vision is also a prison. You’re so absorbed with the future that you don’t see or appreciate the present. You don’t see or appreciate the side effects of your mission. You don’t see or appreciate me. The universe is definitely impermanent and malleable. But it’s so much bigger and more complicated than we can imagine. We can contribute to it, but we can’t engineer it.”
    Vera leaned forward and planted a quick kiss on Huian’s lips.
    “You’re the most intelligent, beautiful, and driven woman I’ve ever met,” said Vera. “But I’m tired of being an externality. I’ve campaigned for years to get you to pay attention. But now I realize that’s not fair. I’ve been doing you a disservice. I can’t expect you to change who you are. And I likewise can’t change who I am. So… I guess this is good-bye.”
    She was at the door before Huian had time to catch her breath.
    “Vera, no, no ,” Huian called after her, stumbling to catch up.
    Vera looked back over her shoulder, tears shining on her cheeks. “Huian, I love you. Just do yourself a favor. Be spontaneous every once in a while. You might discover that incredible things can happen when you relinquish control.”
    By the time Huian reached the door, Vera was already slamming the trunk closed and getting into the car parked in the drive. Vera hadn’t been unpacking farmers’ market produce from it—she had been packing her bags into it. Huian’s head was spinning. She felt like she was going to throw up.
    “Vera,” yelled Huian, holding a hand against the door frame for balance. “Don’t do this. Don’t go like this.”
    But the car pulled around in a smooth circle, kicking up a small cloud of dust from the gravel. It passed the gate, which slid open in anticipation, and pulled out onto the road beyond, disappearing behind the curve of the hill within a few seconds.
    Huian sank into a crouch, her breathing shallow. This must be some kind of nightmare. An evil dream that sends your psyche circling the drain of your deepest fears. She would wake up any minute amid sheets soaked in cold sweat. Vera would roll over and caress her cheek, murmuring words of comfort to lead her away from the shadows of her subconscious. Huian could begin again from the beginning. Live this terrible day differently. Press rewind and start from scratch.
    But when Huian’s fingertips brushed the doorstep beneath her, the wood grain felt solid and real. When she pinched her arm, it drew a scarlet pearl of blood and sent a sizzling jolt of pain along her nerve endings. And that damn Glasper album was playing over the house speakers now, climaxing in a dizzying piano solo.
    No, this wasn’t a dream. It wasn’t an ephemeral night terror that a stack of pancakes and a mug of strong