Curing the Uncommon Man-Cold by J.L. Salter Read Free Book Online

this could change everything.” Christine’s voice sounded like she was smiling. “I think I know how Madame Curie felt.”
    “Or at least Kathy Bates in that movie.”
    “We won’t likely resort to maiming, but it’s still on the table, as far as I’m concerned.”
    Amanda peered into the phone as though she could see how much of Christine’s reply was in jest. Can’t tell.
    “Oh, two more things.” Christine probably held that many fingers near the phone. “Keep his car keys and britches hidden at all times.”
    “Why hide his pants?”
    “When you’ve got a man’s britches, he’s basically paralyzed.” Christine paused. “It’s like rubbing the stomach of an alligator.”
    “I think you’re making this up as you go.”
    Christine likely shrugged. “We can’t have him roaming the neighborhood looking for unsanctioned food.” Short pause. “So where do you figure to conceal his things?”
    Amanda didn’t need to think. “A place he’ll never look.”
    “Now you’re catching on.”
    “Uh, what about his wallet? Should I hide that with his pants and keys?”
    Christine thought for a moment. “No. Better not. Most men have ultra high anxiety when they’re separated from their wallets. We’re just trying to run him off; we don’t want him committed to the hospital’s fifth floor. Uh, leave his wallet out on one of those boxes near the guestroom door where he can easily find it. He’ll think he put it there.” She snapped her fingers into the phone. “Oh… but you’d also better hide his credit cards and any cash over about ten bucks.”
    “Okay, I know this one — to keep him from ordering delivery food.”
    “Correct.” No doubt Christine smiled proudly with the realization her protégé was slowly learning.
    Amanda was not smiling, however. “Won’t Jason notice his wallet is nearly empty?”
    “Only if he tries to use it.” Christine snapped her fingers. “And if he asks you about it, just tell him he probably left his cards and big bills on the dresser at his own apartment.”
    A frown clouded Amanda’s face. “You sure about all this?”
    “Positive.” One of Christine’s most alarming characteristics: she was always certain.
    Later that night, Amanda read the instructions on the Super Glue package and tip-toed into the hall bathroom like a novice jewel thief. She closed the door quietly and went to work.

Chapter 4
    August 12 (Wednesday)
     
    Amanda watched as Jason exited the hallway bathroom with a puzzled expression, and scratched his rump inside the sprung-out waistband of his saggy pajama bottoms.
    He trudged into the kitchen, wearing the same stained tee-shirt as the day before. Jason looked awful, but it was nothing that a shower, shave, and clean clothes wouldn’t fix. He seemed healthy enough, but his clothing and grooming made him appear terribly ill.
    Amanda suspected Jason was using this as a costume. If you want to look sick, just wear sick clothes and eliminate all signs of normal grooming.
    Jason lifted his hand slightly and spoke a single word. “Morning.”
    He’d also foregone normal dental hygiene. Yikes. “You know, I’m willing to wash those rags you’re wearing before they get a mind to run away. You said you’d brought one extra set in that little grocery bag. Right?”
    “Naw. These feel comfortable. And my skin’s real tender. You know, fever and all.”
    “True.” Amanda nodded. “Once you break that barrier of 99 degrees, the flesh can practically fall off your bones.”
    In his weakened condition, Jason evidently still could not differentiate medical science from sarcasm. No response. But he obviously remembered something unrelated. “Did you know somebody yodels in your neighborhood? Hours at a time.”
    “Lady next door. Other side of the wall in this duplex. I think she’s practicing for some international competition.”
    “Somebody actually competes in that?”
    “People compete in lots of things. I once watched a