Dare to Love by Penny Dixon Read Free Book Online

figures. For once I wanted to just do what everyone else was doing.’ He took a sip of his drink, breathed in deeply again.
    I watched him over the rim of my glass, trying to decide if I believed him.
    ‘When we got to the house where the party was, there were about three or four boys watching TV in the lounge. There was no music, no balloons, no food, none of the things you’d expect at a party. Mick introduced us to the boys as special friends of his who were staying with him for a while.
    ‘Didn’t you think it was odd that a man was introducing boys as his friends?’
    ‘I was drunk by then, he could have told me they were Martian babies and I wouldn’t have batted an eyelid.’
    ‘That doesn’t explain how you came to…’
    ‘Let me tell this as I remember it Josi,’ he interrupted me.
    ‘Mick went to got some beers from the fridge and handed them round. He gave some to the boys.’
    ‘Didn’t you think that was odd? The boy looked so young, not more than ten.’
    ‘I don’t know what I thought. Someone passed round a joint and I took a drag.’
    ‘You don’t smoke!’
    ‘I used to.’
    ‘You never told me that.’
    ‘I’d given it up long before I met you.’
    ‘But you never told me you did. You’ve never had a good word to say about smokers.’
    ‘Because I know how weak smokers are. I was one of them, lacking will power.’
    ‘So what made you give up?’
    ‘Can we stick to this please, Josi?’ His eyes were closed tightly, like he was watching a film and didn’t want to lose his place.
    ‘OK.’
    ‘Mick explained that the boys were Boy Scouts and were trying to earn some money for Bob a Job week.
    ‘Was it Bob-a-Job week?
    ‘I don’t know.’
    ‘They’d done lots of jobs around the house and garden but they were trying to bring in the biggest amount this year and had offered to do something very, very special. We would be helping a good cause by supporting them.’
    I was still. He was tense; his long back straight, erect, like a pole had been inserted into his spine. He kept his eyes closed and looked straight ahead. I guessed he didn’t want to see the look of disgust on my face.
    ‘Mick explained that they were looking for big donations as this was a very special job.’ He squeezed the words out.
    ‘How much?’
    ‘A hundred pounds.’
    ‘What! Didn’t you smell a rat?’
    ‘Josi, I don’t have your background. I’m an accountant and one who’s lead a sheltered life to boot. There were things I didn’t know about. Things that didn’t come into my world.’
    ‘But they did though, didn’t they?’
    ‘Do you want me to go on?’
    ‘Yes.’
    ‘Two of the boys left the lounge and two of the guys followed them. They came back a while later. The other two boys left the room. Mick nodded at me. “Your turn mate, room top of the stairs and turn right.” I raised my eyebrows. He just said, “Don’t keep the boy waiting.” Then as I staggered out of the room he shouted, “Enjoy!”
    I took a gulp of wine. Richard opened his eyes and closed them again, back to his movie.
    ‘The rest is a bit blurred.’ He squeezed his eyes tight as though trying to see more clearly.
    ‘It was a small bedroom with only a night light. The boy immediately started to take off my belt. I backed away and asked him what he was doing. “This is the job, sir,” he said.
    “What job?” I stopped his hand. He looked surprised. “The bob-a-job sir. It’s a blow job.”
    I started to leave the room. I think I told him he wasn’t doing that to me. He started to cry, said he would get into trouble and wouldn’t get the same amount of money as the other boys if I didn’t let him do it.’
    He fell silent. He was struggling to breathe. This is the point at which I’d offer a sympathetic word to a client, tell them to breathe, to take their time, to let it go. But no words came out. I watched my husband in horror, trying not to picture him in that darkened room with that crying boy. The