Deep Green: Color Me Jealous with Bonus Content by Melody Carlson Read Free Book Online Page A

Ashley’s party.
    “Timothy says that the basketball team is looking really good,” she said to Amber at practice this afternoon, like anyone was asking. Of course, Shawna always saves these comments until she is absolutely sure I’m within earshot. “You should’ve seen their scrimmage last night,” she continued loudly. “Timothy is playing better than ever. It was awesome. I wouldn’t be surprised if we go to state this year.”
    I exchanged glances with Ashley and saw her mouth the word “chill” at me, but it was all I could do not to explode into a bazillion hot pieces. I guess I should be thankful for my expertise as a gymnast at times like that, because I simply walked away and acted like I was practicing a series of flips through the gym. Thankfully, it actually helped to relieve a little tension. Amber and Ashley gave me a nice little round of applause when I finished, and I put on my happy mask and gave them a flamboyant bow. I think I saw a slight scowl on Shawna’s face just then, like perhaps she was worried that Jordan Ferguson still had it, like maybe I was still something of a threat to her. And consequently a small, barely perceptible ripple of satisfaction ran through me.
    I suppose moments like that fuel the teeniest bit of hope in me. And I start to think that if I really applied myself I might be able to use my talents and charm and perseverance to get Timothy back. It encourages me to think that Shawna knows this too, and I think it worries her. But I refuse to make my move until I have a solid and foolproof plan.
    But so far, I think the way I’m handling this is working for me. For one thing, I’ve garnered more support within the cheerleading circle. Everyone thinks I’m being a super good sport, and having Ashley solidly on my side hasn’t hurt anything either. And it all seems to be making Shawna increasingly nervous.
    Like yesterday at lunch, after I’d managed for a whole day and a half to act like everything was totally cool, Shawna finally pulled me aside and said, “We’re okay, aren’t we, Jordan?”
    I forced a smile to my lips and just shrugged. “Why wouldn’t we be?”
    She laughed nervously. “Well, you know . . .”
    “Hey,” I said in my most nonchalant tone, taking a quick glance around to make sure that no one else could hear me. “If you have to have sex in a bathtub just to win Timothy back, well, you just go, girl.” Then I slapped her on the back, laughed, and walked off to join Ashley. And I quickly told Ashley something completely unrelated but pretty funny, and we both threw back our heads and laughed. Ashley has the best laugh. It just rolls across the room like a bowling ball. Then I glanced back over to where Shawna was standing and gave her a look that suggested we had just enjoyed a joke about her.
    I must admit I am slightly surprised by how mean I can be. I didn’t used to be like this. Even when I noticed the hurt look in Shawna’s eyes, I didn’t care. If anything, I was glad. And even though I pretty much know exactly how she feels, I still don’t feel sorry for her. Maybe I should be concerned that I could be turning into a totally selfish and heartless person. But mostly I’m not that worried, because what I did seems like nothing compared to what Shawna did to me. And, as Amber says, all is fair in love and war.
    Speaking of love, Timothy did apologize to me on Monday. And I could tell he was really sorry too, like he’d been caught up in something that hadn’t been his real intention.
    “I feel really bad, Jordan,” he told me in the parking lot after a full day in school, where it felt like he’d been avoiding me like the plague. I’d never thought of Timothy as a coward, but I suspect he felt pretty uncomfortable.
    I stood up a little straighter, actually hopeful that this could be the moment I’d been waiting for. I looked into his eyes with an expression that I hoped conveyed just how deeply wounded I’d been. And his