Deep Surrendering: Episode Four by Chelsea M. Cameron Read Free Book Online

back.” He rolled onto his stomach and I inspected his shirt. Yup, I’d torn it with my nails, and there were red marks that had little beads of blood welling out of them. God, I’d done some damage. I didn’t know it was that bad. Heat of the moment, indeed.
    “My back is fine. It’s my brain that I’m not sure is going to recover. That was…” He waved his hand, searching for a word. “That was much better than I thought it was going to be. I was afraid there, for a minute. If I was going to be able to finish. But then you took control.”
    “And you let me. That was pretty awesome. How do you feel?” Gingerly, I turned over onto my stomach.
    “I’m not sure yet. I’m still shocked that I liked it.”
    “It was pretty good. I mean, from my perspective. I didn’t think I’d like it rough like that. But there’s a lot of things I’ve done with you that I didn’t think I’d like.”
    “Same here.” He brushed my hair away from my face and stroked my back. “Thank you for experiencing that with me. For letting me take my time and drag my feet. You have the patience of a saint.”
    “Not quite. Just enough to deal with you, I guess.”
    One of the candles guttered out.
    “Very funny.”
    I got up and went to use the bathroom. “Do you think you’ll ever be able to do it naked with me? There was that time in the shower that I’d rather forget about.” I was over the fact that he hadn’t used a condom, since he’d felt awful and had made up for it, but that didn’t mean it was now a fond memory.
    “One step at a time. Would you like your secret now?”
    I lay back down on the bed, and he moved closer to me. “I get face-to-face sex and a secret? I’m a lucky girl. If you want to share, go ahead.” I rested my head in the crook of my arm and let his fingers wander over my body.
    “My father bought me a woman for my sixteenth birthday. He didn’t know about the sex with my cousin, and he still thought I was a virgin. I hid my whoring around well. I’d already started to get into the darker side of sex, and most girls my age wouldn’t go for it. So my parents threw this lavish party for me, but it was really for them to show off. I didn’t even know most of the people there. By the end of it, I was so tired I just wanted to go to bed. But my father had me driven to a hotel, and he handed me a room key for the penthouse and told me not to come home until I’d gotten his money’s worth.”
    I always tried to remain neutral when he told me stories about his past, but it was almost as hard as remaining still and silent when we had sex. My natural reaction was shock at what he told me.
    “You okay?” He felt the tension and revulsion in my body, and his fingers stopped moving along my hip.
    “Yeah. Keep going.”
    “I had an idea of what he was talking about, but it wasn’t until I opened the door and found the woman that I knew what he’d done. She was young. Just a little older than I was. Cute, huge brown eyes. Blonde hair with blue tips. She was scared, obviously, and I think he picked her because of that. I was angry at him about the party, and angry about a lot of things and … and I took it out on her.”
    I couldn’t suppress the shudder that rippled down my spine.
    “I’m not trying to make excuses for what I did to her. It’s one of the things I regret the most.” He closed his eyes. “She did well, and I tried to be gentle with her. She thanked me for it, afterwards.”
    How was it possible not to be a little fucked up when your father got you a hooker for your birthday? What happened to a car?
    “That was my first taste of what I could have if I paid for it. I found her again, afterwards, saw her again. She was always up for whatever I wanted, whatever depravity I could come up with. I explored with her, and then she introduced me to other girls, and then I fell into that world and I haven’t come up for air.”
    His hand stopped moving again.
    “Until now, I guess.