Deep Surrendering: Episode Seven by Chelsea M. Cameron Read Free Book Online

Carl out of the corner of my eye. I wished he wasn’t here to witness this.
    “You’ve done so much for me, more than you know. I want you to feel like you can depend on me. That you can count on me for support anytime you need it. No matter what,” he said, and he stared deep into my eyes, not letting go of my hand.
    “I do depend on you, Fin. I do rely on you.” More than he knew. “I just didn’t . . . I didn’t want to say it out loud because that would mean that there was something wrong. I know I’m not very fond of my mother, but she’s still my mother and I love her. And I feel awful for fighting with her all the time.”
    Fin shook his head and put a finger to my lips. “Stop that. You’re blaming yourself.” It was almost ironic for him to be giving me advice about blaming myself for things when he did exactly that.
    “Well hello, Mr. Pot. I’m Miss Kettle. Pleased to meet you,” I said. His eyes narrowed, and for a second I thought he was going to pounce on me, and my mouth went dry at the prospect. I still couldn’t get that moment in the alley out of my mind.
    Half of me wanted to tell Carl to take us right back to my apartment so I could rip Fin’s clothes off of him and have him tie me up and do a bunch of wonderful, naughty things to me so I could forget about everything else.
    That was the thing about having sex with someone like Fin. It was a fantasy—a total escape. When I was with him, he filled my mind and pushed everything else out. It was freedom and control all at once.
    “Marisol,” he said, his voice practically in a growl. “We’re not talking about me. Don’t you dare compare yourself to me.” Whoa, another sore spot.
    “Well, don’t be ridiculous then.” We glared at each other and then he sighed.
    “I don’t want to fight about this. I’m sorry. I should have been more supportive and then you might have trusted me more. Do you know what’s wrong with her?”
    I shook my head, wanting to cry again. My emotions were all over the place lately. I was pulled in so many directions.
    “No. She’s been having issues with her memory, but what just happened I haven’t seen before. Obviously something is wrong with her mind, but I have no idea what it is or how serious it could be. I’m scared, Fin.” The last part I didn’t want to admit, but it happened anyway.
    “I know. It must be scary. Is there anything I can do?” He let go of his death grip on my hand and started stroking my palm. Much better.
    “I don’t think so. I don’t even know what’s wrong. Dad won’t tell me. I think he wants to try and handle it himself. Maybe because he thinks I can’t deal with it, or that I don’t want to.” Neither of those things was true. There was a world of difference between not wanting to fight with my mother on the phone and not wanting to help her if she was sick.
    “I’m sure if you just call him and explain, he’ll understand,” Fin said. He had a lot of faith in my dad. I knew it wasn’t going to be that easy. I was probably going to have to fight my way back into that house. For the first time, maybe ever, I wished I lived closer.
    Well. That’s something I never thought I would say.
    “It will turn out fine. I know it.” Fin kissed my hands and pulled me in for a tight hug. “I will do anything for you, Marisol. Anything.” I felt the truth in his words. I’d said nearly the same thing to him just a few hours ago.
    “That’s good to know, Fin,” I said, unable to hold back the tears that dripped down my cheeks. I wiped them quickly so he wouldn’t see.
    “Things will work out for you,” he said. I just nodded as we drove back toward the city.
    I wanted to believe him.
     

     
    I had no idea what Fin did while I was in class, but when he picked me up, he seemed calm. Collected. Back to his controlled self. He’d also changed clothes.
    “Well hello there, Mr. Herald,” I said as he held the door for me and took my breath away. I forgot what